EPIPHANY

I have been working nonstop on a research project all week. No work, no play, barely no food, just research. My mother has called me every day this week. A few times to check on me, a couple of times to update me on the world outside of my computer screen, and of course, the a occasional annoying phone call here and there. For Mother’s Day, she requested that all of her children meet he in South Carolina so that we could spend this special day with her and her mother. A looming deadline on the my research project, a line of morning tornadoes, and driving winds did not deter her from making each of her children brave the wee hours of the morning and make the drive to South Carolina.

Now that I am home, and finalizing the research project, I would like to say Happy Mother’s Day to my “momma” and all of the other mothers out there. I am happy I had the chance to spend time with family today, and I am finally finished with the first draft (with a whopping 5 hours to spare). I guess sometimes mothers do know best.

kp

Once upon a time, kids were scared to cut up in the presence of anybody’s mother!  Even if your own mom was miles across town, you knew Miss so-and-so had unwritten authority to open up a can of “act right” if you got out of line. Now kids will run past you in the mall, step on your feet, and not say excuse me.  They will fight and cuss in your presence and not bat an eye.  They blast lewd music in the church parking lot and make you wonder what pack of wolves raised them.  Sometimes we gasp and shake our heads, but at some point we always think back to our own behavior and confirm that we “knew better” at that age.  Most of us grew up in houses with mother’s that WERE NOT HAVING IT!  Luckily in addition to Janice, I had Aunties that DID NOT PLAY!

As you all know Mother’s Day is Sunday.  To all the Mom’s out there: have a wonderful day.  We appreciate the love (sometimes disguised as discipline) you’ve shown over the years.  For this week’s blog, I’d like to shout out my Fave Five Moms!  BBJ aka Big Bad Jan (she hates it when I call her that) will always have the Mommy Emeritus spot in my heart.  If my life were a T-Moble cell phone plan, my Fave Five would be:

1. Mommy: No matter how old I get, she’ll always make me bread pudding (*hint hint*) and will forever treat me like her personal assistantJ.    
2. Aunt Fern: If I didn’t list her name first after BBJ she’d kill me J.  Also because she is the voice of reason when the drama gets too loud and especially because she taught me “…it’s not about the cowboys and the Indians”!
3. Mary: This one is a little weird because technically she is not a Mom.  But she’s an Auntie, so she made the cut!  Mary is the calm in the midst of the storm for so many people in her life.  She’s a nurturer, and we all count on her wisdom.  To know Dweebie is to know Mary, and knowing Mary has definitely been a blessing for me….and I still want to be like her when I grow up!
4. Miss Linda: Because she makes the best Peach Cobbler EVER! And also because she redefined Strong Black Woman for me!  Where others would have given up, she stayed strong and definitely came out on top.
5. Karen: She’s my favorite Hey Mon! In spite of being a wife and mother she still has time to be a very supportive friend.  We struggle through lent together every year, and share a shopping addiction.  We mourned the end of The Wire, and look forward to the new season of Big Brother!  I call her when I’m in crisis and she always makes time….(now all I need her to do is read that other book) J

Mother’s are a blessing….just ask anyone whose mom is no longer with them!  To all of the Mom’s out there (and especially my Fave Five), thank you for all you do!  I chose the five women that support and inspire me the most. So Epiphany Blog……it’s your turn! Who are the Mom’s in your Fave Five?

JerzeeChick

To everyone out there going through it…….sing along with me!

JerzeeChick

We all have them; that little thing that everyone else can seem to ignore or overlook but for some strange reason, you can’t. Or, that minute detail that on a bad day just drives you crazy. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we all have pet peeves. I don’t know, maybe somebody didn’t get enough hugs when they were younger or someone else may have a short fuse. But, no matter what it is, you know it when you see it. For instance, I was recently at an advisory board meeting for a program at a major university and head of the organization’s cell phone went off. He reacted quickly to silence his phone, but in doing so, set off a number of bells and whistles. Just then, the person presiding over the meeting stopped what she was doing and chastised the person whose cell phone went off. After giggling at her tirade, I paused for a second and thought this is a classic example of when pet peeves get the best of us. So now I ask you, what pet peeves do you have? What small actions committed by other people set you off and how do you handle them?

As a former middle school teacher, I had to make sure my students understood correct grammar and the proper use of words. As someone known to jack up a term or definition every now and then (hey, I just found out that the word is “pashmina,” not “poshmona”), I had to make sure that my students could grasp the basic principles of speech and not make the same mistakes I am so commonly known for making. Therefore, one of my biggest pet peeves is to hear people use a singular noun improperly in a sentence. I know, it’s a trivial item in life that can be overlooked, but this reached a boiling point when I heard Oprah tell her audience that everyone needs a good “pant” or a good “jean.” Come on now, Oprah! A good pant is what you do after exercising. We all need a good pair of pants or a good pair of jeans.

I will admit that I have been under a lot of pressure lately. I am preparing for the summer which is my busiest time of year at work, and I have been slaving away at my computer trying to crank out my dissertation on a tight deadline. Therefore, the small nuances of life are starting to bug me more than usual. I guess this is why I got so irritated when the lady sitting next to me on the airplane decided to talk on her cell phone as if everyone on the flight wanted to hear about the day she was having (peeve #2). And, maybe, just maybe, this could also explain why my best friend and my father snap at me when I pop my gum. Once the passenger next to me on my flight hung up her phone, I had to deal with the man sitting behind me smacking on his ice cubes. As he committed number three on my list of pet peeves (smacking), all I could do was wait for the flight attendant to tell us that we had reached a certain altitude and that it was now safe for me to use my approved electronic devices on the flight.

The one good thing about a pet peeve is that they only last for about one or two minutes, and if you wait them out or ask the person to cease the act politely (a hint to my best friend and my father), they will eventually go away. Yep, I am pressed to write something this week, my neighbor’s car is blocking my driveway again (peeve # 4), and I just got finished clearing my inbox of emails proclaiming a string of bad luck if I don’t forward the messages on to 10 people I love (peeve #5). My list could go on and on, but surely, I am not the only person with a string of pet peeves that drives them crazy, right?

kp

Sweet Jesus be a concession speech because I am about tired of the 2008 Democratic Primary.  I feel like I’m living in a 1978 trailer for JAWS 2 (just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water….DUNH DUNH DUNH DUNH tiny tears is still holding on)! I had my fingers crossed that Obama would pull off an upset in Pennsylvania but I knew it was a long shot.  He finished much better than originally forecasted, but still the media is acting like he is the candidate that won’t go away.  If I hear one more reporter say “why can’t he win the big states” I think I might try to slit my wrists with a spatula.  Is it just me, or has this misery dragged on for far too long?  Sweet Jesus be a time machine to transport me to November 5^th.  SOMEBODY new will be the President, and “W” will be on his way OUT!

At any rate, not only am I tired of the Democratic Primary process as I whole, I am really tired of this Reverend Wright scandal.  Don’t get me wrong, I heard the ENTIRE sermon he delivered back in 2001, and took NO ISSUE with his comments.  I feel that the media took the snippets they wanted and tried to spin this man as un-patriotic, and get Obama on guilt by association.  Even without hearing the entire speech, most of us would agree with what he said, but once you hear the entire speech (and understand part of it was based on someone else’s quote, and biblical scripture) you realize it was a set up.  Let’s be honest, how many of us haven’t heard similar things in our own churches?

Obama was in a lose-lose situation.  He could say nothing, and slip in the polls or he could say something.  I do not think his speech in Philly last month was him posturing, nor do I think he was selling out.  He touched on many valid points without throwing his beloved Pastor under the bus. Some would say he should have gone hard and backed Reverend Wright 100% no matter what.  To them I say: you obviously want four more years of the Republicans in office.

I know Reverend Wright took a lot of unfair heat for his past speeches and maybe he justifiably has sour grapes.  For the life of me I can’t figure out why he would chose now to come out in defense of himself pretty much at the expense of Obama.  Granted he is right in his views, but wouldn’t he still be right after the election? 

This is a free country and we all have the right to say whatever we want (so long as it’s not about bootleg movies J ), but there is something to be said for discretion.  What part of the game is this?  If Wright truly supported this man, truly cared about him or ever called him a friend why would he take a national stage and play him out like that.  To say Obama was being a “politician” implies he was less than honest/sincere.  Why would he come out now to take center stage, when it’s obvious the very last thing the Obama campaign needs is to rehash this mess!

Again, Reverend Wright may have been justifiably upset with the media.  People that know nothing of his service to the community all of a sudden come out to call him unpatriotic.  How can you do six years in the military and be unpatriotic (especially when the current administration managed to shirk their military responsibilities)?  His most recent speeches had valid points which deserved to be mentioned….but did they have to be mentioned right after tiny tears won Pennsylvania?  What about the whole “on November 5^th and January 21^st I’ll still be a pastor” comment…..did he really have to play Obama out like that?  People that never heard the first speech were in no position to judge the man, but he has given us all a new batch of ammunition one way or the other!

On the flip side what if this was all a part of Wright’s bigger plan?  What if he really does want Obama to succeed and knew the only way to truly put distance between himself and Obama was to come out in such a way that would force Obama’s hand?  Maybe he knew the Senator needed to come out in front of the country and separate himself for once and for all if he wanted to win.  As it stands now, all those people that were “concerned” about Obama’s relationship to Reverend Wright can rest easy.  Those two are through….. the only thing missing is a dis record on Hot 97 (with a Jay-Z verse and a Diddy remix).

So Epiphany Blog, timing is everything.  Do you think the most recent speeches of Reverend Wright are the beginning of the end of Obama’s quest for the White House?  On the other hand, was this just the thing Obama needed to separate himself from the controversial Pastor and ease the fears of white America?  Will the timing of all this ultimately help or hurt the Obama campaign?

JerzeeChick

PS: Happy Birthday Leanda!

            If you’ve seen the email you can attest to how cute it is and I’m sure the nostalgic moment made your day. I pretty much smiled as I watched the slide show because it brought back so many good memories. In a world where gas is $3.55 a gallon, where tiny tears has no concept of “bowing out gracefully” and it took Star Jones how many years to see the light…..that little email slide show was right on time!

            I started thinking about those good old days and wondering what it would be like to go back. I wouldn’t want to alter anything just maybe spend a few days as my former self. So my question this week simple if you could re-live a period in your life, what would it be and why?

            I wouldn’t go back to elementary school. Don’t get me wrong playing hide and seek was fun but I’d rather go back to something a little more substantial.  Those transition periods in my life when I was moving from one thing to another for some reason hold particular significance to me. The summers of 1995 and 1996 were fun!  I was pretty much carefree. I could take I-95 to the turnpike whenever I needed to go home, and those were the summers of some of the best hip hop mix tapes ever created. (I still have my DJ Clue mix tapes somewhere around my house)!  *pauses to play the Get Money remix*

            If I knew then what I know now, I might have studied in college a little more, or maybe been a computer science major.  If I could go back, I wouldn’t have signed up for that first credit card freshman year!  The last thing I needed was ANOTHER squeegee bottle in my dorm room, and that first credit card was a slippery slope for me. Like most of us at that age, I had no concept of interest rates, credit reports, and late fees…..nor did I fathom how persistent those credit card people could be when you didn’t pay on time!

            If I went back even further, I might want to visit the summer of 91.  That was the break between high school and college when I was counting down the days until I left for school, but enjoying every minute of summer league basketball.  I am not sure where you all are originally from, but in my part of Jersey, summer league basketball was IT in the summer.  We had all the “all-stars” from Scott and Essex Catholic.  Those Seton Hall Prep boys could ball, and Orange High represented too.  Sometimes we would go down to the “hole” to watch the games, but most of my summer evenings were spent in parks or high schools in East Orange and Orange, watching the homies compete!  We’d watch several games, and then walk home (or jump on the New Jersey Transit bus).  Some nights I’d be lucky and get a ride home after a detour to Applegate Farms, but regardless, there was no better past time for us than watching summer league basketball games. 

            Will kids growing up now have those memories in seventeen years?  If the right club song came on right now I could do the “give it up” or “stolen car” all night, but will kids really be repping Soulja Boy in the year 2025?  How many of us are really going to want to lean with it and rock with it twenty years from now?  I know our parents probably said the same thing about hip hop back in the day as they did the “jerk” and “shot gun”, but I think we can all agree Slick Rick/Dougie Fresh/Boogie Down Productions/P.E./New Edition et al have stood the test of time!  Those artists created the soundtrack to our lives, and when we reminisce, often times it’s the music that makes us smile even bigger.  *pauses to do the wop*

            Okay Epiphany back to my original question….if you could go back in time where would you go and why?  I’d like to think I wouldn’t change anything, because ultimately all those experiences brought me to where I am today, but would you change your own history if you could?

JerzeeChick

 PS: Many apologies for missing the Wednesday Wind-UP this week.  The “NFL” drama kind of threw me off track.  At any rate, this song never released a video, but I thought it was worth a listen…

A few weeks ago, I heard someone on television say that he was living his life by making sure his air mask was on first. I really did not pay any attention to his comments until I was on a flight last week. I am usually asleep by the time the flight attendant goes through her drill of what to do and not to do in case of an emergency, but this time, I was intrigued when she stated if there is a drop in cabin pressure, make sure your air mask is secure tightly around your face first before you assist others with their breathing device. Those simple instructions allow me to breathe, therefore making me more capable to help others in case of an emergency. If we put ourselves first in everything we do, would this actually help us out by not allowing us to stretch ourselves to thin, or does this make us selfish?

I went on a date a few days ago, and during the getting to know you segment of our evening, the topic of relationship survival came up. I told him that from now on, I am going to make sure that my air mask is one first because my breathing and happiness would determine the quality of the union. I can’t give of myself if I have nothing to give. I could tell that my statements startled him. After pondering the thought for a few seconds, he informed me that my stance makes me selfish because the role of anyone in a relationship is to give of themselves to ensure the happiness of the other person. Not necessarily. Financially, a number of us follow the simple rule that if you loan money to someone, it should be an amount you can live without just in case you never get it back. Isn’t this the same and making sure your air mask is on first? Before we help someone emotionally, we have to be emotionally stable so that the problems of our loved ones don’t weigh us down. Isn’t this the same as making sure our air mask is on first? You would not expect someone physically weaker than you to lift you up, right? So how does this make someone selfish?

In the past, I have given to people before I put me first. I have spent countless nights listening to the problems of others, knowing that at any minute, I was going to crack with the pressures of what was going on around me. I have loaned money and have had to struggle either because I never received payment in return or because the payment came back just a tad bit too late. And romantically, I have given more than I have received, which at times, has lead to me feeling suffocated by the very thing that should make a person happy. Well, no more. If I am able to breathe, then I can provide for others and the quality of what I can bring to the table will drastically increase. But, if I don’t put my well-being first, I will not be able to help myself, or anybody else!

If you think about it, in some ways, we are all selfish. I’ve to get mine before you get yours has become a way of life or we are constantly looking for the next best thing to get ahead no matter what the cost. But, if we make sure our air mask is secured tightly around our face first, then we are better to ourselves and others in the long run. If we decided to put our air mask on first to ensure that we can breathe, does that really make us selfish, or does this show that one is trying to elevate someone else to the that level of security and self actualization that he or she has finally reached?

Peace,

kp

I work with a bunch of fruit loops.  These people have no social skills and if it wasn’t so socially unacceptable I would walk around squirting milk on this band of merry misfits! I know we all say we work with crazy people, but in my case it’s actually true.  Here is my question to you Epiphany, how do you deal with work foolishness?

Some things I can easily avoid.  They love a pot luck around here.  Not just any pot luck, it’s a pulled pork love affair up in this camp.  Be it a birthday, holiday, or vendor sponsored luncheon these fools will cream their panties over those barrels of pulled pork (with a side of Brunswick Stew)…YUCK.  I don’t eat pork when my mother makes it, so the likelihood of me fixing myself a plate piled high with the pulled pork that the aforementioned fruit loops have breathed all over is slim to none!  Ugh….and they stay scratching, and rubbing and I haven’t spotted a bottle of anti bacterial in anyone’s office but my own……but I digress.

The purpose of today’s blog is to open the dialogue about office foolishness, and how it should be dealt with. What do you do when you notice people move around the stuff on your desk while you are on vacation?  Granted it’s not your bedroom or anything, but don’t you deserve to return to neatness and order whenever you walk up to your desk?  So what if the new temp used your chair while you were on medical leave, does that give him the right to throw away all your sticky notes and paint his name on your inbox with multi-colored white out?

Sometimes when I am working from home, one of the squatters from our other building might need to use my office.  I’m cool with that so long as he/she leaves everything in its proper condition.  On my bulletin board there is a sign that reads: If you plan on utilizing this office (or anything in it) while I am away, please be sure to return EVERYTHING to the state in which you found it.  Including: The Docking Station, Keyboard, Mouse, and Telephone!!  Please also take your trash, crumbs, water bottles, coffee cups and papers with you when you depart and refrain from removing my sticky notes!  My sign works rather well.  Only in cases of true desperation will a squatter use my office, and trust and believe they all know better than to leave their used Styrofoam cups on my desk!

So I can maneuver the potlucks, I know how to handle those Messy Marvin’s that want to use my desk…..but there is still one situation where the foolishness tends to rise too high too fast and I find myself annoyed and malicious!  There is a NUT on my team (we can call him NFL for “nutty fruit loop”). He probably hunts wild pigs (to bring in for the potluck) on weekends. I think he’s ex military or something, but he’s a big bruiser with a half comb over half spiked hair do.  He’s a know it all type that does not know how to talk to people.  NFL works my last nerve, because he’s always LOUD and WRONG (terrible combination)!  He has half the people around here running scared because he likes to raise his voice and talk smart in meetings.  The rest of the fruit loops around here just gasp and walk away, but I’m from Jersey!  Rather than let that NFL get my pressure up, I sent out the right email using the right human resources buzz words (you know the ones: bullying, inappropriate, hostile work environment).  Let’s just say JerzeeChick has a free work from home pass for a minute!

Some people might disagree with my methods, but I had two options:

1. Step to the NFL and look like the unprofessional black girl with my neck rolling and my fingers snapping.  I could have broke him down and let him know who he was messing with for real, but I do have an image to protect J
2. Let the system work for me!

Now y’all already know I have mastered this Corporate Hustle thing so I am all for letting the system work for me!  Tell me Epiphany Blog….how do you handle work foolishness?

JerzeeChick

In need of message…enjoy!-kp

Last week, Barack Obama said that the working class was bitter and I am just fine with that. Whenever a Presidential candidate places emphasis on the wrong word in a sentence, stutters when the teleprompter malfunctions, or sheds a tear when asked a question, we are forced to watch it over and over again on the news. With this latest technique of overkill being used to report on the remaining Presidential candidates, I was not surprised when Obama’s reference to the working class as bitter made headlines. I was surprised, however, at people’s reaction to his comment. The more and more I listened, the more and more I began to realize; I am bitter, and I am glad someone finally said it. Unfortunately, a number of people took this opportunity to say how out of touch Obama was with working class citizens and that he should be ashamed of himself. How are we going to address the bitter sentiment that people feel if we are so quick to dismiss it?

One does not have to be working class in order to be bitter about what is going on around them. For instance, I can protest my cost of living increasing and the value of my dollar decreasing. I can stand on a mountain top and shout “can’t you see that when you reduce funding for education, health research, and tease us with cuts in the interest rate-something I still don’t understand-I will become bitter! So yes, I am bitter. But, I think that in this situation, people are bitter because they have little or no control over negative economic circumstances some of us may be forced to deal with. If one works hard, they expect to see certain results; an increase in savings, a cushion for retirement, and comfort in knowing that one took the necessary steps now to plan for his or her future. No one wants to see the blueprint he or she is following for the American dream backfire beyond their control. Therefore, I think a number of us are bitter because we have lost control over the dealings of “big government.” As human beings, if we lose control over something we will try to compensate for it somewhere else. Think about countless number of times we clean our house because we feel a sense of disorder around us. We read self-hope books that tell us to “take control of your money,” “take control of your love life,” and “take control of your career” with the hope of removing variables one can not manage. How is one to feel if we take control yet still fall victim to issues such as lay-offs, budget cuts, and the rising foreclosure market? I am not a political or economic analyst, but I keep asking myself, how do I take control when I don’t’ feel like my voice is being heard?

I know, I have gone on and on about this for a number weeks, but I can’t help but wonder about my future if someone does not address the economic inequities that so many people are facing today. Hillary Clinton said Obama was “elitist and divisive” and others have called Obama’s remarks “condescending, negative, and hurtful.” Although I don’t completely agree with full context of his statement, I must admit that I am bitter about the economic welfare of this country. I am bitter and feel that I am losing control over my own wellbeing if I don’t take a stand. Sometimes the truth is hard to swallow. But, before we dismiss Obama’s comments as a blunder of words, shouldn’t we ask ourselves are we really bitter? And if so, how did we get there?

Hopefully, not bitter for much longer,

kp

So several months ago I did a post titled “Please Go Somewhere…” (If you are not familiar with it, please check out the archives for July).  The purpose of this post was to point out those people in society that were plucking my nerves.  I flashed back to my childhood days where random adults could be heard telling children “…if you don’t go somewhere and sit down,” right before attempting to beat them within an inch of their lives.  With the prevalence of entertainment news programs and online celebrity gossip blogs; we tend to be inundated with the business of the rich and famous.  Much like a train wreck it’s hard to look away from it all, but at some point you get so annoyed with the foolishness, you have to say: “If Britney Spears don’t go somewhere and sit down…..”!  No worries, I am not going to say anything about her or her pregnant little sister in this post.  I am going to focus my attention on those more deserving of a little tight teeth talk. 

Bobby Brown:  Really Bob-bay…..it was Whitney that led you down the road of damnation?   I am not going to lie, I had “Being Bobby Brown” on my TiVO.  That tomfoolery was funny, and every time he didn’t get “noticed”, I laughed even louder.  In retrospect it was sad….but I digress.  For those that don’t know, he now has a tell-all book coming out.  (Do we really care what Bobby is about to tell?  He’s a liar, and a washed up has been with delusions of grandeur…I am heated that he’s gonna make the NYT Best Seller list before me!) In his version of the story he says Whitney married him to improve her image.  Come on now Bobby! No one is saying that Whitney was an angel, but if improving her image was her goal, the very LAST person she would have married would have been you!  Then he goes on to call Karrin Stephans a bad parent.  Now I am no fan of Supahead, but how many times have we seen Bobby get hauled into court over failure to pay child support?  Pot, meet kettle!  Now I’m begging….Bob-bay if you don’t go somewhere and SIT DOWN!!!!!

Remy Ma: Puhleeeze!  Let’s recall the incident where she shot her friend over about two thousand dollars this summer.  She was arrested, pleads not guilty, and tries to say it was an accident. I’m no member of the NRA, but getting into someone else’s car with your loaded gun and pointing it at them while you rummage through their purse does not an accident make!  She was found guilty of course, and is now being held until her sentencing at the end of the month.  In the mean time she has asked her fans to send letters of support to the judge expressing how Remy and her music has changed their lives.  Her hope is that the letters will encourage the judge to be more lenient when imposing her sentence.  I won’t lie, I was doing the “lean back” for a minute a few summers ago, but the whole notion of Remy changing lives….I’m not buying it, and the judge probably won’t either.  Then I hear she is planning jail house nuptials with her boo Papoose.  Now I’m begging….Remy if you don’t go somewhere and SIT DOWN!!!!

Jayonce:  Is it me or are these two the new Bennifer?  I am so over all of this cloak and dagger wedding talk.  If they did it, congrats!  If they didn’t, who cares?  I know he rocked Phillips Arena with Mary J the other night, so he’s alright with me, but for real for real, now I’m begging…..please Jayonce go somewhere and SIT DOWN.  Have some babies to dress in that God awful House of Dereon Creole mess!

Naomi Campbell:  In the words of my good friend Xi, I don’t give a rats a$$ what your excuse is! Even if you were carrying gold bullion in your bags….it is 2008 we DO NOT antagonize/threaten/physically assault anyone in the airport.  First of all, it’s called a “carry-on” because you carry it on, and thus should be held accountable for it’s whereabouts at all times.  I am no fan of the TSA and the security check point drama is enough to get anybody’s pressure up, but let’s use a little common sense Naomi.  Boo-boo, I don’t care how fierce you do it on the catwalk, they will toss you off a plane in a heartbeat for getting out of pocket with the wrong person.  Now I’m begging….Naomi take your short fused temper and go somewhere and SIT DOWN (preferably on an isolated island with no cell phones, assistants, or airport personnel until you learn how to act)!!!!

I know y’all thought I was gonna tiny tears you to death on this one, but I didn’t J   I’ve given you my list….now who are you begging to go somewhere and SIT DOWN????

JerzeeChick

Can you imagine L’il Wayne, Webbie, and Souljah Boy pulling something like this off??

JerzeeChick

Yesterday morning I heard a news story about the alarming drop out rates across the country.  It seems that the graduation rate of high school students is below 50% in many of our nation’s larger urban cities.  As if that wasn’t distressing enough, yesterday evening I heard a story about a bunch of third grade students in a small country town that plotted to attack their teacher  *gasps*!  It seems as though the teacher disciplined a student for standing on a chair in class….and it was on!  As many as nine children formulated a plan to take her down.  They had a broken steak knife, handcuffs, three different kinds of tape, ribbon, and a crystal paper weight.  I don’t know how malicious you were in the third grade, but these kids were on a mission to “teach” her a lesson.  They equitably divided the attack duties to make sure someone was covering the windows and someone else was cleaning up the blood when they were done.  What’s really going on?????

It’s so easy for people to dismiss the actions of the third graders as “isolated”, but once upon a time Columbine was isolated.  The incident in Jonesboro, Arkansas where the students pulled the fire alarm and shot at their classmates from the woods was “isolated” once upon a time too.  Be it rural areas or big cities, ghettos or suburbs; there is a problem with our kids and if we keep treating “isolated incidents” while never looking at the big picture it will never get better.  

As is usually the case in Atlanta, several radio shows had people call in to debate who was to blame in the case of the 3^rd graders. A lot of people blamed the parents.  Some people blamed video games/rap music, but one fool had the NERVE to blame the teacher!  He actually said “we need to wonder what this teacher did to these kids to make them want to attack her like that.”  WHAT??????  He said he is a parent and he knows sometimes teachers don’t know how to talk to kids.  I am going to go out on a limb and say his kids are probably the main ones disrupting the class and acting like fools!  (Not that I am saying all teachers are perfect, but when you have to spend more time on discipline than you do on educating, you are entitled to lose it every now and then)!

What happened to children respecting adults…regardless?  When I was in school acting out was never an option, and I knew enough to tell my mother if I ever felt that an adult was getting out of pocket with me.  Back talk was not accepted in my house or in the presence of any adult that knew me.  Obviously that whole “respect you elders” thing was lost on these 3^rd graders in Waycross.  Who do we blame for the apparent lack of respect with today’s youth?

I am not one to point the finger at music and video games simply because I think if you are on your job as a parent, you monitor and control what your child sees.  Not that you can shield them from all forms of violence, but you should at least keep it in perspective so that they understand the difference between fact and fiction. If you let the television and computer raise your children then you have no idea what they’re being introduced to.  At the same time, you can be the most on point parent out there, but your child can get caught up in some mess due to peer pressure.  Some people say kids will be kids and sometimes they just have to learn the hard way.  Now that crap I don’t believe!  Kids need discipline and structure, and that certainly should begin in the home. 

Thankfully in the case of the 3^rd graders in Georgia, nothing happened because an adult was alerted to their plan.  Unfortunately the media attention given to this situation will probably give too many other bebe’s ideas about attacking a teacher they don’t like.  So what do we do?  The world most of us grew up in sadly no longer exists, but who do we blame?

JerzeeChick   

Yep, but what do you remember about the dance break?-kp

A number of media outlets have been discussing the latest in what some have labeled as another example of blatant racism. LeBron James graces the cover of the April issue of Vogue portraying what some have called a modern version of King Kong. James is dribbling a basketball in one hand, and clutching the Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen in the other. At first glance, the polarizing physical characteristics of both James and Bundchen are obvious-he is a tall, Black man and she is a much shorter, thin, Latin woman. But, the physical characteristics alone have not sparked the latest debate in race relations; it’s the juxtaposition of model and athlete that has led to widespread dislike for the picture. James is shown bent at the knees and shouting while grabbing Bundchen around the waist. So now I must ask, is the picture really a depiction or racism?

Some who answer the previous question with “yes” base their response on the historical depiction of African American men. At one point in our country’s colorful history, African American men were portrayed as dangerous and violent men who posed a threat to the sanctity and innocence of White women. Although these allegations were false, it was hard for society to overlook the impact of these negative images because they were one of the few images we had. Now, we have a plenty to select from. Presidential candidate to college professor; savvy businessman to inventor; top-notched scientist to father and brother. But, there is still that negative image that sends a chill up our spine whenever we see it. That is the incorrect image of the dangerous and violent Black man who poses a threat to the sanctity and innocence of White women. As I listened to the debates on the radio and read the news stories, I couldn’t help but wonder why was “this” shot chosen for the cover? Given the number of people that had to approve the shot, those that work for the magazine, and the general public’s views and ideas, surely there were a ton of other photos they could have used?

James and Vogue have stated that the image was not meant to be racist. James and Bundchen, along with a few other athletes and models, were chosen to highlight the magazine’s best shape issue. I watched the on-line interviews and saw clips from the photo shoot and I can see their side of the story. But, it became another story once the cover was selected and published. It became a history lesson of stereotypes that all Blacks have had to face. It became a moment of mixed emotions; I am happy that James is the first Black male to grace the cover of Vogue, but I would have preferred him to be dressed as eloquently as Bundchen. And, it became yet another debate to show how race relations are still a hot button topic in today’s society.

I believe the magazine cover does solicit a feeling of racism because it reminds us of a time where these negative images were all we had. I also believe that we are somewhat removed from the days of only having negative portrayals of Black men in mainstream society. I believe James when he says that he does not think the image is not racist and that anything he does will be criticized. But I also believe that his denial of the racist image silences the voice of those who might view the picture as offensive. So, to answer my original question, is the picture really a depiction of racism? Honestly, I have no idea.

kp

Do you ever feel like you deserve something, or something is owed to you because in your mind you “earned” it? Don’t get me wrong, a sense of entitlement is okay when kept in prospective. As KP mentioned in her previous blog, I have been a bit under the weather. I managed to contract walking pneumonia, and have pretty much found myself laid up for the past several days with nothing to do but sleep and watch television (FYI: Jesse and Angie are back on All My Children). As per usual I was riveted with the latest and greatest from tiny tears. I firmly believe that at the root of Hillary’s quest for the White House is her sense of entitlement. I’ve heard it and read it a lot over the past few days and I firmly believe she thinks she is “entitled” to be the next President. She supported her husband in his bid. She was a “competent” first lady. She stood by him during his scandal with supahead…oops I meant Monica Lewinsky and after that MESS she thinks the White House is her light at the end of the tunnel. How dare Barack stand in her way?????

When you feel you are entitled to something, how far will you go to get it? As a consumer I am “entitled” to a certain level of customer service. I will write a scathing letter if need be and I won’t hesitate to escalate to the manager or someone with “decision making authority” when I need to get my point across (or my discount/refund/free gift)! I have even exaggerated the truth when a Fifty Dollar American Express gift check was at stake. I think a little exaggeration is okay, but a bold face lie dressed up as a “misspeak”?????

The Clinton’s fully expected to be the presumptive nominees by now. Many high ranking democrats don’t feel Obama is “entitled” to be the next president, and so they are okay to watch him fight it out to the bitter end. If the tables were turned and Obama was trailing hopelessly with no chance of ever catching up the entire DNC would be urging him to do the right thing for the party and concede….but I digress!

Hillary Clinton’s sense of entitlement caused her to put out that ridiculous red phone ad. In an effort to back up her “foreign policy” experience claims, she brings up her sniper infused Bosnian adventure. Hillary Clinton went on an official mission to Bosnia in 1996, no one disputes that. It’s the part about sniper fire and running for cover that earned her four Pinocchio’s with the Washington Post. Sidebar: Can you imagine being put on blast by blonde jherri curl MC Hammer pants wearing Sinbad? *gasps* Well when it happened to tiny tears, she did what the entitled always do. She stuck to her guns! She said “I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.” Roll the You Tube video, and cue the damaging biography.

In an effort to back pedal she now says she misspoke. How does one label a lie as a “misspeak”? If I say on ONE occasion that I am on the New York Times Best Seller list, I might be able to excuse that as a misspeak (because I hope to one day be on that list). But if I tell people on several occasions about my climb to the top of the list, and segue into my best seller status at several events, that makes me a liar. The road of the entitled is often paved with lies and conjecture.

Does poor waiter service “entitle” you to a free/discounted meal….Definitly! Does standing by a sick husband and nursing him back to health “entitle” you to half his pension when he leaves you for some chick he met on line….Probably! Does standing by the man that cheated on you with an intern IN YOUR OWN HOUSE “entitle” you to the Presidency????? Did Hillary really think the truth would never come to light, or is she totally blinded by her sense of entitlement?

JerzeeChick

PS: Happy Birthday Dweebie!

This video reminds me of my high school days. I knew all the words to every song on the top 8 at 8. I watched Rap City and/or VJ Ralph McDaniels whenever I could and I loved to listen to Cool DJ Red Alert on the radio–JerzeeChick

(According to Grandma)

My blog partner Jerzee Chic is a little under the weather. I sent her a text message earlier today to check on her, and realized that survival of the fittest is based on some of the same philosophies, no matter where you’re from. After being told to cover her feet so that should would not catch a cold in them (her feet that is) , I added that she probably got sick because she washed her hair and went outside while it was still damp. Now we both knew better, but the words rolled off of our tongues with the greatest of ease. I spent the rest of the day recounting all of the old wives tales I have heard over the years to see if I actually followed them. Some have helped me, but there have been a few that made me question the validity of the source. Where on earth did some of these words of wisdom originate and why do we insist on repeating them only to laugh at the mere thought of following some of them through?

I am sure that old wives tales started with a hint of truth to them. But over time, they have taken on a whole new meaning. For instance, while sweeping my floor in college, I accidentally hit my roommate’s foot with the broom. In a panic, she spit on the broom explaining that I almost adverted her wedding plans because I “swept her feet.” Spiting on the broom was the only way to reverse the chain of events and that I should be more careful when cleaning the room. I don’t know if I was more perplexed by the fact that she actually believed that I could single handedly ruin any nuptial plans that may have been in her future, or that she launched a wad spit on the floor!

To be honest with you, I do unplug all appliances and sit still in total darkness during a thunderstorm. I also put bread in the fridge so that it will last longer and I try my best not to leave my purse on the floor. But there are a few that I just can’t get with such as don’t sweep trash out at night because it will bring bad luck; if a baby enters your house for the first time, place money in his or her hands so that rats will not enter the house; don’t buy a man a watch or shoes (time will run out or he will walk out of your life); don’t wash clothes on New Year’s Day because you will wash someone out of your life; put an egg over the door to stop teething pain; if you shave your legs, the hair will grow back thicker; and if a baby crawl, walks, and talks early, he or she is making way for another baby to enter into the family. I’m sorry, I just can’t believe it. I also can’t believe that placing an acorn in the window will keep lightning out or if a bird flies into the house, death will soon follow (okay, maybe for the bird).

I called my mother and some of my friends to try to complete my list and realized that everyone has great advice to ensure we each live life to its fullest. We all know that if you break a mirror then seven years of bad luck will follow, but I didn’t know that a man should be the first person to walk into a house on New Year’s Day and that if you say goodbye to someone while standing on a bridge, you will never see that person again. To Jerzee Chic, I hope you feel better. Keep you feet covered, your head dry, and make sure your hat is not on the bed. To everyone else, what other words of wisdom have I missed so that these tidbits of knowledge are never forgotten?

kp

On Tuesday, March 18, Senator Obama delivered “A More Perfect Union” and addressed our nation’s most divisive issue. I am encouraged by his valiant effort to bring to light the need to deconstruct oppression in order to reconstruct our general perception of inequality.

Peace, kp

It has happened to the best of us. We receive some devastating or bad news. We process it, the situation effect us, and then, we react. But, how do react? I am a firm believer that how we react to something, especially something unexpected or bad, tells a lot about a person. It reveals how well we plan, if we can work well under pressure, or if we have a support system to deal with the set-backs we receive in life. I took some time to evaluate my reaction to minor set-backs and realized I still have a long way to go. Gas prices have hit a record high, minor stressors are starting to take its toll, and an unexpected bill has reared its ugly little “I can’t deal with this right now” head. After processing everything, I retreated to my room and blocked out a number of people and important issues. I spent hours upon hours flipping through the channels and left my room only to get something to eat and to take my dog out. I was fine the next day, but I don’t think my reaction to these issues was the best course of action for me to take. Fortunately, I had the vacation time to sit and sulk, but this experience gave me some time to say “hey, I think I need to do better on how I react to certain things.”

A few years ago, I watched Gone with the Wind and just fell in love with the final scene. After losing her house, her love, her child, and quiet frankly her mind, Scarlett O’Hara ended the movie with “I can’t think about this now! I’ll go crazy if I do! I’ll think about it tomorrow.” At that moment I thought Scarlett is a genius! If I don’t have the mental strength and energy to deal with something today, I will think about it tomorrow (or the next day, and in some cases, next month). Now, I don’t live in the land of a 1939 movie nor do I have the luxuries in life which allows for time to stop so that tomorrow can come. However, I thought Scarlett was on to something here. I realized later that THIS IS THE END OF THE MOVIE! I have no idea if tomorrow came for my leading lady, and if it did, I have no idea what it resembled. For me and everyone else, our hope is for tomorrow to come. When tomorrow arrives, we still have to face the old challenges plus a few new ones that have decided to pay us a visit.

Our reaction to the unexpected is tested everyday. This past weekend, a tornado ripped through downtown Atlanta. Witnesses and reporters kept asking how something like this could actually hit the city of Atlanta especially since the tall buildings would protect the city from such devastation. I kept thinking to myself, it has happened, the city is not protected from mother nation, now let’s react. Waiting to develop and implement a plan of action is not going erase what happen so let’s get the ball rolling as soon as possible. I know, funny coming from someone who thought Scarlett’s theory of dealing with stress was the way to go, right?

Each of us faces some type of set-back on a daily basis but I think our reaction to these set-backs define us as a person. You might have to drive out of town unexpectedly and the “arm and a leg” price of gas may not have been included in your weekly budget or lay-offs may be an imminent reality at the job. A child or loved one may be ill or that one small “thing” may ruin your mood. Don’t get me wrong, blocking certain items out of our mind so that we may function as normally as possible is a defense mechanism used to filter certain stressors . But, you can’t do your taxes from 2001 now because you are ready to react. Think about it for a second. How do you react to minor stressors or set-backs? Do you handle them head on? Do you engage in a fit of rage so that you don’t keep that anger bottled inside? Or, are you a reformed graduate of the Scarlett O’Hara school of reality and stress management?

(Sorry Scarlett, but I think its time to let you go now.)

kp

Back in August I wrote a post about the arrogance of men. It was peppered with tidbits about the foolishness of some elected officials and how at the root of every public undoing there is probably some paper trail leading back to a dangerous liaison with someone other than his spouse (if you missed it, click on the Archive link on the right, and read the posts from August). Fast forward a few months as we see some people never learn. We also see while women may not be as arrogant as men, we do tend to exhibit a form of audacity. Most women know how to show out and shut it down….even when we are DEAD WRONG. It’s a gift I guess! Arrogance or audacity, which is worse?

We’ve seen a text message scandal with a prominent politician. Sending over fourteen thousand text messages to your boo is never a good idea when you are married, but to then lie about it under oath and think the truth would never come out….arrogant!!!!

We’ve seen a governor caught up in a prostitution ring. Did he not learn anything from the Heidi Fleiss and DC Madam debacles? Note to any politician dropping stacks of money on prostitutes……you’re gonna get caught CLOWN! Stop being arrogant, and invest that money in your child’s college fund (because WHEN you get caught your career is over).

Arrogance is bad, but is it really worse that audacity? Is the cheating politician really worse than the stupid/ignorant/controversial Geraldine Ferraro? She had the audacity to say Barack Obama has only progressed this far in the Presidential Race because he’s black, and refused to back down from her statements. She further went on to say everyone else was racist for taking her comments out of context. I’m sorry, but how can she call the Obama campaign racist when she said: “If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman, he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.” So is she saying Obama is the affirmative action candidate benefiting from quotas or something? In this case her audacity trumps the cheating husbands. She finally resigned from her official post at the Clinton campaign, but she is still doing the talk show circuit defending her remarks…..AUDACITY!

Birds of a feather flock together. Last week Tiny Tears did it again with her audacity too. First there was that red phone ad (and for the record, I watched The West Wing faithfully and we all should know the president is not a unilateral entity making major decisions without consulting his cabinet. This is America, not Cuba)! Then there was so much fanfare regarding her alleged comeback (again, for the record, Obama had more delegates before last weeks primaries, and he still has more delegates now)! Not only is she claiming to have won Texas (Barack walked away with 99 delegates and she walked away with 94), she is also saying there should be a joint Clinton/Obama ticket with HER as president. Talk about AUDACITY….how does the person in second place try to put the gold medal around her neck, and hand the silver medal to the real winner?

As a woman, it pains me to say it, but the audacity displayed by these chicks bothers me far more than the arrogance/stupidity of the aforementioned men. Arrogance is defined as overbearing pride, while audacity is defined as aggressive boldness or unmitigated effrontery. So Epiphany blog my question is simple: arrogance or audacity, which is worse?

JerzeeChick

To everyone out there having a bad week….Jill says some people are never satisfied so go ahead and do you!

JerzeeChick

As I’m sure many of you already know, the season finale of The Wire is upon us *sighs*. I’ve been watching The Wire since Bodie, Poot, and Wallace were moving that Barksdale Package in the towers. I don’t know if it was the love of Stringer Bell that drew me in, or the familiarity in the way no one on that show pronounced the “t” when they said “Baltimore”. Whatever it was, I was hooked from episode one. I knew then that D’Angelo was not really cut out for that lifestyle, and I also knew I didn’t like his baby mama (that’s right, I’m hating because she ended up having a tryst with my boo)! For those that may be a few episodes behind, I’ll avoid any real plot spoilers as I embark on this blog of “things I learned from The Wire”.

R.I.P. B.I.G.! Do you know how many songs Biggie could have put out about The Wire? With “artists” like Soulja Boy having one of the biggest hits of 2007, can you imagine what Biggie would have done with a show like The Wire to fuse into his rhymes??? When was the last time you listened to 10 Crack Commandments? Commandments 2, 3, 7, and 9 are straight out of The Wire.

A Man Must Have A Code….and other people have to know about it! When Omar got locked up for the shooting in the convenience store, luckily his reputation for only going after people in “the game” preceded him with Bunk. When people already know what you will and won’t do beforehand, it makes getting your point across a lot easier! (sidebar: Who knew Kima had a code too!)

Deserve Ain’t Got Nothing To Do With It. Sometimes we get what we get just because. I know I don’t deserve cheesy lines, yet some lame dude recently offered to drink my bathwater. Try as I might, I can’t seem to figure it out. I think I know what I “deserve”, but Snoop and Chris have shown me what we deserve and what we get don’t always coincide.

Never Trust A Man In Dockers….especially when his name is Scott Templeton. In an effort to prevent a spoiler, I will just say I HATE SCOTT TEMPLETON! From the first time we saw him, he rubbed me the wrong way, and with every scene my contempt grows!

A Lie Ain’t A Side of the Story, It’s Just A Lie. We all know at least one “honesty deficient” person. If we think about it, he/she is the person always PRESSED to tell you their side of the story. Five seasons of the Wire have taught me, that when dealing with a liar, I should expect everything that comes out of their mouth to be at the very least, a “half truth”. I was once in a relationship with a liar. He was big on telling me “his side” of the story. If I knew back then, what I know now…..

Get There Early. This one is pretty much self explanatory, but for all those time challenged people out there…..people give you a start time for a reason. If you want to know what they are really up to, get there before they do!

It’s All In The Details. Whatever you do, however you do it, make sure you have the details right! The brilliance of The Wire comes down to how all the bases are covered in the details. So for everyone out there trying to get over on your boss/boo/parent with a silly lie….back track and perfect those details. Don’t ramble out foolishness a la Scott Templeton (did he really think that Norese as a source thing was a good idea)? Be more like Lester Freeman with your details. Cover all your bases and at the appropriate time throw out that Big Joker!

The Difference Between Being a Businessman and being a BUSINESS….MAN! Who would have thought Marlo would go from raising pigeons to all of this???? I guess it’s all about supply and demand. When you know what people need, you demand they buy your supply! It’s been Barksdale all day everyday over here since episode one, but Marlo definitely put a different spin on those corners.

Nature vs. Nurture. Did y’all know Randy (the little boy from last season that is now tougher than leather living in the group home) was really Cheese’s son? I guess he got that hustle man gene honestly which is why he was so successful at selling candy. (Poor Randy was destined to become a victim of nature because of Herc’s foolishness!) I don’t know who I feel sorrier for Randy or Dukie. Randy had Miss Anna for a minute, but Dukie has always been alone. At least Namond found a nurturing place to call home. His mother De’Londa “you scared to go to baby booking” Brice was A HOT MESS! What type of mother negotiates a package for her son?

It’s A Position, Not A Negotiation. Actually I learned this from Phil Leotardo on The Soprano’s, but Marlo perfected it. He’s a man of few words, and not one to debate anything. When he said “the price of the brick going’ up”, those mouths fell open, but nobody said a word.

As you can tell I’m a serious fan. I hate to see this show go, but it’s definitely going out with a bang! If you missed this season, you still have a few days to catch up on all the episodes (assuming you have access to HBO On Demand) before the finale on Sunday! In the meantime Epiphany Blog, what have YOU learned from The Wire?

JerzeeChick

I heard this the other day and can’t get it out of my head!-kp