EPIPHANY

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Please go somewhere….

Remember when we were kids, if we started getting on our mother’s nerves, she might yell: Go somewhere and sit down!  If you were really on her nerves she might say it with the “tight teeth”.  Now that we are all grown up and have probably said that phrase several times to our own children/nieces/nephews/cousins, we get the emotion behind the phrase.  It was not always a command that you sit.  You were doing too much, and she needed a moment to breathe…Your going somewhere to sit down probably saved you from a much needed beating and might have saved her from a trip to DYFS J

Do you ever feel like people are doing too much?  Be it a celebrity or the nosey security guard at my office, I find there are several people that I wish would just go somewhere and sit down!

 

 Isaiah Washington:  I think he is a great actor, and I enjoyed his acting on Grey’s Anatomy (although he could have insisted they hook him up with a black chick…but I digress).  Now that he has been booted from the show, I am so sick of him touring the interview circuit with his whole “I was robbed” bit.  If what he says is true regarding the incident, he should not have lost his job.  If his statement was not in any way directed towards or in reference to the closeted gay man on the set then he should not have been fired.  Regardless, the damage is done, and Isaiah is out.  I just wish he would go somewhere and sit down.  He’s not getting his job back and at this point all the ranting and raving only makes him sound bitter!

 Jennifer Holiday:  Not taking anything away from her powerhouse voice, but why on earth is she touring with the Dreamgirls play AGAIN as Effie?  She has to be pushing 50, but she’s playing a young girl in her twenties.  Jennifer, please go somewhere and sit down!!!  

 Matthew Knowles:  Ladies, if you’ve ever been Daddy’s Little Girl, you know your father will always be your biggest fan, but this guy….If he doesn’t go somewhere and sit down (and stop trying to turn Solange into Beyonce part 2)!

 The Bootleg CD Man:  I do not know how you feel about buying bootleg DVD’s and CD’s, so I am not going to judge that.  I do know that selling bootleg CD’s is some sort of crime.…so please Mr. Bootleg CD Man do not try to tell me about supporting black business and doing my part to put money into the black community while you are selling bootleg CD’s and DVD’s out of your trunk.  Go somewhere and sit down with all that power to the people stuff, while you are pocketing all that money when you know the artists won’t see a dime.

 Remy Ma:  For those that may not have heard, this dizzy broad allegedly shot her friend over two thousand dollars.  Aside from the obvious reasons (that God awful weave), she needs to go somewhere and sit down because despite all her tough talk and baller lyrics, this chick had to have people double mortgaging houses to raise bail money! What?!?!?!  She is a mother of a young boy, out there shooting people over what should be chump change to her.  Remy, if you don’t go somewhere and sit down…….

 Tyler Perry:  For those that are Tyler fans, no disrespect to you, but that House of Payne show is horrible!  It has to be one of the worst shows, black or otherwise, to hit network television.  He needs to go somewhere and sit down and rethink this whole writer/director/producer/studio head thing.  I am all for a brother conquering Hollywood, but that show is some MESS!

 Beyonce:  Let me say this…I have a love/hate relationship with Beyonce.  It’s similar to the one I had with Mariah Carey back in the day.  I love to hate her!  Beyonce is beautiful and talented, but she needs to go somewhere and sit down! I buy her CD’s.  I think her choreography and dancing is excellent.  I’m sure she puts on a great show, but I am gonna need her to get a thesaurus before her next interview. If I hear her say “it was sooooo amazing” one more time I’m gonna vomit!

 Ray J:  I am not sure which is worse: the May/December romance with Whitney, or the leaked sex tape debacle.  How can anyone take Ray J seriously?  He is destined to forever live in the shadow of his sister. I don’t care how good he can direct porn…lest he has ambitions of being the black Larry Flynt he needs to go somewhere and sit down!

 Soul Glow:  Why are men in 2007 are still wearing S-Curls?  More importantly, why are the men with these ridiculous hairdo’s trying to holler at me?  I was at the gas station yesterday and I got hit on by a guy in a Cleveland Cavaliers warm up suit (complete with the snaps down the leg, and a S-Curl Shag/Mohawk….looking like Bony T (Chris Rock’s character in Boomerang).  Now you know I wanted to tell him to go somewhere and sit down, especially when he started posing with a pair of mirror sunglasses on!

 VPL:  Ladies, with all the advances in modern foundation garments…I do not need to know it’s Hanes Her Way, EVERYDAY! We now have low rise panties, low rise thongs, Spanx, invisible thongs, G-Strings, boy shorts etc, so there is no excuse for visible panty lines. Your panty line, and the color of your G-string is your business.  The last thing I want to see in the gym are the “straps” from your G-string up around your belly button!  If you feel the need to wear ultra low rise jeans with your B-A-D’s on…..please go somewhere and sit down!  The rest of us don’t want to see that mess!

            I could go on and on FOR DAYS with this list.  There’s Pacman Jones, Michael Vick (bless his heart), Paris Hilton, and everyone’s favorite P. Diddy (FYI, I’d collect unemployment for life before I’d walk to Brooklyn to bring him cheesecake)!  Take a moment to reflect on the last 48 hours.  Who was the last person you wanted to tell to GO SOMEWHERE AND SIT DOWN ?!?!?!?!?

JerzeeChick

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July 19, 2007 - Posted by | Laughter, Life, Society

4 Comments »

  1. Sometimes we all need to GO SOMEWHERE AND SIT DOWN(it can be quite liberating, looking back on some actual occurrences)—I’m gonna have to disagree with you on the VPL issue, there’s nothing like a little insight on what women want on their skin(somewhat kinky)—KEEP THE SHOW GOING LADIES, and one more thing I’d like to see more of you in tight navy blue schoolbus driver slacks!

    Comment by Lucious Leftfoot | July 20, 2007

  2. It’s funny that you would have a “Go somewhere and sit down list” because I have a list of people who need to also Shut up! To name a few: Oprah, proud of my sister but who made her the authority on every damn thing. Maury Povich, really needs to get new writers for his show besides “who is ur baby daddy”, Rachel Ray, again, who made her an authority on cookin – is she married?? this is my short list.. I will not begin to name the athletes.

    Comment by GQue | July 20, 2007

  3. I tell you what, it might not have been such a good idea for me to read this at work (first thing in the morning no less). I have a wide array of co-workers who I need to “go somewhere and sit down.” However, instead of risking the continued amicable working relationship I have with these people, I am going to chose to live vicariously through you. Thank you.

    Comment by Andrea | July 23, 2007

  4. I understand about telling people to go sit down somewhere. I had my 4 year old nephew this past week, and I had to send him to sit his little behind down OFTEN!!!!! Sometimes kids (and adults) are doing TOO MUCH….(or asking for too much)!

    Comment by Nichelle | July 27, 2007


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