EPIPHANY

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I Won’t Grow Up!

I have been at war with my jobs PC support department all year (granted we are only 9 days into the year but that is not the point)! As far as work is concerned, my January is not off to the stellar start I had hoped (but trust; I will be working the Corporate America Hustle ALL YEAR)!!!!!! I remember when the first couple of weeks of the New Year were about wearing all your new Christmas clothes and writing those reports about “How I Spent My Christmas Vacation”. Now January is about last year’s numbers and closing the books for the fourth quarter. Being a grown up is quite overrated!

 

In 1983 I got my first Cabbage Patch Kid. She came with a silly name….Suzanna something. My cousin and I decided that was not a suitable name for a black baby so we changed her name to Kristen (because apparently Kristen was much more ethnic). I had a little carrier for her and a diaper bag too. I remember being very disappointed because my mother wouldn’t let me buy a box of pampers with my Christmas money. Even though little Kristen wore the same pamper day after day, she was fly in her fake fur jacket with the matching hat. I waited with baited breath until the birth certificate with her new name came in the mail. Now all I wait for is my W2’s (btw, can someone tell me why it takes them until January 31st to mail out). No more fashion shows for the first two weeks of school. The highlight of January has become gathering receipts and getting all my deductions straight for the tax guy. Yes being a grown up is quite overrated *sighs*.

 

I got the aforementioned Cabbage Patch Kid before they reinvented them with the corn silk hair. Kristen had that knotted up yarn mess that had a permanent part and was bald underneath. Any girl knows that the best part of having a doll is being able to hook her hair up in the styles your mom won’t let you wear outside the house (you know fifty-eleven multi-color barrettes and too many parts). Kristen was forced to rock those same two ponytails everyday, but I kept her bows cute! In 1983 my mom footed the bill for my hair (I had a head full of thick hair, and sadly Jan could barely make a straight part). Now I spend too much money at the beauty shop because I lack the patience and proper styling tools to contend with my thick hair. When I compare my 1983 hair expenditures (which were nil because I only had to pilfer ribbons from my own barrette jar for Kristen’s hair), to 2008 (deep conditioners, trims, touch ups), again I say being a grown up is very overrated!

 

I remember back when people used to pass notes. If a boy liked you, he might send a note through your best friend asking you to go with him (I am not sure where we were “going” but I digress). Now you get the guy in the club that says “What ‘cho name is”, or in my case the guy in the frozen food aisle that doesn’t believe me when I say I’m a vegetarian because in his opinion “I don’t look like I ever smoked no crack”. Boys in high school had game, now the men you meet only know how to “play games”. We used to fall asleep on the phone talking to people that liked us, now we might get a text message or a forwarded email in the middle of the day. Being a grown up sucks sometimes!

 

Do you remember what it was like to go to bed at 2am and still get up in time for an 8 o’clock class? Nowadays, if I am up until 2am for any reason, rest assured I am calling in or working from home the next day. Better yet do you recall what it was like to EAT ANYTHING you wanted whenever you wanted and suffer no repercussions? Now we have lactose intolerance and acid reflux to contend with (not to mention the fear of a bulging gut). What about when Tylenol and hot tea cured everything? An occasional swig of Robitussin or Triaminic would keep you straight back in the day, but now we have God only knows what cluttering our medicine cabinets. I would gladly kiss the elliptical machine goodbye and go back to the days of gym class and cheerleading practice if I could.

 

What happened to us? All things considered, I think we were a much healthier generation than kids today. We actually danced at the parties *does whop and cabbage patch for emphasis*. Most of us walked or caught the city bus to school (which still required a little walking). We had to do stuff around the house (kitchen cleaning, yard work, and changing channels as needed). Our snack selection was limited (Bon Ton potato chips, crunchy cheese doodles, Drakes Cakes, Blow Pops and green apple Now-A-Later sticks). On paper it seems like we did everything right, yet here we are. Most of us would kill for the mind (and body mass index) of our youth. If I knew then what I know now, I would have kept Kristen (because I’m sure she’s worth a fortune on EBay now), and I would have enjoyed being a kid for as long as I could! If I had to do it all again, I would take a page out of Peter Pan’s book:

I won’t grow up (I won’t grow up)

I don’t want to wear a tie (I don’t want to wear a tie)

Or a serious expression (or a serious expression)

In the middle of July (in the middle of July)

And if it means I must prepare

To shoulder burdens with a worried air

I won’t grow up, never grow up, not me!

JerzeeChick

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January 10, 2008 - Posted by | Fun, Life, Old School

4 Comments »

  1. I feel u! Kids today have a totally different reality and want to grow up too fast. i was one week into college and the realization that I AM NOT READY TO BE GROWN hit me and i wanted my papa ( my grandfather). and now…being an adult and trying to live that ” american dream” is not all that it is cracked up to be…all I have to say is that SOMEBODY LIED TO ME!

    Comment by Jhaque | January 10, 2008

  2. Because growing up it seems to me beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I wont grow never up, never grow up,never grow up! Not me! (oops I had a moment**crickets**)

    Comment by Peter Pan | January 11, 2008

  3. I know that’s right!! Your way with words is so vivid and certainly sent me on a trip down memory lane, cabbage patch doll in all. It really hit home for me b/c I now have my own kids and am constantly telling them how “good” they have it, or better yet how things are so different from when I was growing up. They are too advanced or things are just too complicated. I think at some stage of “kidhood” we all can’t wait to grow up…if we or the kids of today only knew how sometimes being a grownup really does SUCK and being a kid is the best thing since sliced bread!

    Comment by Tsani | January 17, 2008

  4. That was a very interesting story…

    Thanks

    http://www.yellaribbon.com/

    Comment by yellaribbon | December 5, 2008


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