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The State Of The Economy

I am excited that gas prices have dropped to their lowest point in five years, but it seems a little suspect that just five months ago they were at an all time high. I don’t fully understand what drove the prices down, but I’m not complaining. I know all those people out there driving SUV’s and luxury vehicles that only take premium gas are dancing a jig too!

Last week when I went into the grocery store I noticed the price of milk has not come down. The price of eggs has not come down. The prices of grapes, mangos nor tomato’s have budged and Lord help me the price of Gummy Bears is at an all time high. All of this is bad enough but there isn’t much I can do about it…I gotta eat, right?

This whole state of the economy situation came to a head today when I was forced to buy something out of the vending machine at work. I nearly fell on the floor when I realized they had raised the prices on every one of those tired off brand snacks by fifteen cents. I was beyond heated! I would have been okay to see inflation hit Nabisco or Hershey, but come on now…an extra fifteen cents for those fake out Austin Animal Crackers?!?! I used to blame everything on the high gas prices, but now it’s going to be the state of the economy. Henceforth and forever more (until I find a new cop out), I shall use the economy as a scapegoat for everything I DON’T want to do. Here are a few excuses you might want to use:

1. Due to the state of the economy I can only wash clothes once every two weeks and so with no clean clothes to wear, I must work from home for the rest of the week. (My trifling manager will love that one!)

2. Due to the state of the economy, I had to drastically reduce my cell phone minutes, which is why I never return your calls. (For that pesky someone that obviously can’t take a hint!)

3. Due to the state of the economy I have to pump all of my extra money into winning the Mega Millions Jackpot, so I can’t afford to buy another candy bar, case of oranges, or calendar to support your child’s fundraiser.

According to President-Elect Obama, the economy might get worse before it gets better. In light of that I’ve decided not to let the state of the economy slow my roll. What good is it to be broke and depressed?!?!?! Henceforth and forever more, I shall use the economy as a scapegoat for everything I DO want to do, and I advise you to do the same.

1. Due to the state of the economy, we need to keep every beauty shop appointment. If you look good you feel good, so go ahead and get that cut and color this week!

2. Due to the state of the economy, we all need a little therapy…retail therapy! I’m shelling out money for Christmas gifts so don’t I deserve to treat myself to something nice too…which leads me to my next point…

3. Due to the state of the economy, I’m eating lobster tonight. For all we know they might be rationing food in the New Year. You better get in where you fit in and get that Surf & Turf while you can!

Seriously though Epiphanyblog, how is the state if the economy affecting you? We know it has hit the governor of Illinois so hard he had to start selling senate seats, but I hope it’s not that bad in your hood. I really would hate to hear about an Epiphanyblog loyalist taken down over trying to sell bootleg movies on Facebook! So as we collectively pinch our pennies and make fiscally sound decisions; or splurge and rob Peter to pay Paul let’s take a moment to share our collective angst!



December 11, 2008 - Posted by | Finances, Life


  1. I wish you would have written this blog two months ago. I could have saved a ton of money and used your excuse to get out of buying a bunch of useless sh*t from my coworkers kids!

    Comment by still waters | December 11, 2008

  2. Due to the state of the economy, regular hair appointments are on skirk but shampoos and blowdrys with a piping hot flat iron is free on the Crest. Due to the state of the economy, manicures and pedicures & all waxes are a must, who needs the grande iced drink–as for food, dinner is at your families house, I’m triflin and what– but my daughter is fed. And lastly, Due to the state of the economy, retail therapy is a must! I want, I’m buying it, hell I’m working for it.

    Comment by Irving on the Crest | December 11, 2008

  3. Due to the economy…I can no longer participate in office secret santas for the holidays. Instead I am using those funds to make my trip to Denver extra special.

    Comment by Venom | December 11, 2008

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