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Ms. Independent?

I keep hearing men, especially celebrities, talking about how they are attracted to women that make their own money and don’t “need” the help of a man.  I can appreciate that because I too think an independent man is attractive.  Am I selling out the Womens Movement because I think this whole “support the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed to” mess has gone too far?

I was a fan of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.  NeNe was my favorite by far, and the latest antics of Sheree have gone a long way to move her to the bottom of the list.  Throughout the season she talked about how she was trying to obtain a seven-figure divorce settlement from her ex-husband.  He’s a former NFL player, and they have two children together.

Now again, I hate to seem like a sell-out to my sista’s, but if you haven’t caught a pass nor made a tackle, what makes you think you are entitled to this mans fortune?  He earned that money you didn’t.  I don’t care if he had servants feeding you grapes three times a day, it was a done deal when you two parted ways.  You don’t get to ball out of control anymore.  Welcome to the real world….and in the real world we live on a BUDGET!  In the real world we live WITHIN our means!

Before you roast me, keep this in mind: in the initial divorce settlement she got a lump sum of over seven hundred thousand dollars.  She also got a portion of the marital assets and currently gets money from his pension and one hundred and thirteen thousand dollars a year in child support.  All of that and this heifer still ain’t happy *rolls eyes now*!  She doesn’t get alimony, so her lawyers have taken this thing to the Georgia Supreme Court.  Their argument: she only has a high school education and has limited skills and therefore can not earn a decent living.  I’m sorry, but that is some mess!  How can any woman in good conscience allow herself to be painted as a “loser” in an effort to squeeze out more cash?  The man is taking care of his kids, why can’t she get a J-O-B?!?!?!?!

Now I believe in equitable sharing of assets, and I believe that if a woman raised your kids and supported you in your career goals she shouldn’t have to move back to the projects when y’all break up.  I also believe that child support should not be a “come up”.  When you leave a relationship, you also leave the perks that go along with said relationships.

So Epiphanyblog, I’d like to hear your thoughts about this whole “lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed to” argument.  Has it gone too far?


January 8, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity, Gossip, Opinion, Relationships


  1. I am with you and Chris Rock on this one Jerzee. Last I checked she wasn’t trying to give Bob any pu$$y payments so why should her give her gold diggin ass anything? Maybe if she wasn’t spending money on birthday partys and shoes that 100k would be enough. I’m a woman too and so long as the kids are being provided for I can’t fault the man for not wanting to keep the baby mama in Gucci and Gold

    Comment by still waters | January 8, 2009

  2. Women like her make the real Independent women out there look bad. I don’t mind buying a drink or treating a woman to a nice time, but I hate a chick that constantly has her hand out. When you enter the club and head straight to the bar and don’t even attempt to buy your own drink it is a real turn off. If you won’t drop ten bucks for your own long island then I know you have some gold diggin tendencies! Ladies, you can’t have it both ways. You want to be treated as equals, make the same money, and claim to be “independent”. Then you should be wiling to pay your way. Men should take care of their kids, and if a woman stuck by your broke ass and helped you start a striving business or turn your bad credit around, when you make it to the top, she deserves to be rewarded, but just because a woman has a baby with a ball player or rapper does not give her a free meal ticket for the rest of her life!

    Comment by JBlaze | January 8, 2009

  3. I watched that show a few times. I beleive she is the one who says in the beginning of the show that other women are jealous of her “success”. Since I only caught it sporadically, I asked my wife, what was she successful at? And from what I saw, all she TRIED to do was the clothing line, which didn’t get off the ground. Now she is claiming some “I only went to high school and i have no skills”…that’s too funny.

    My boy says that if he ever gets divorced, he is gonna tell the judge that he got used to a certain lifestyle, so he is gonna expect that his wife would have to have dinner ready for him when he got home, and at least 3 nights a week she would still have to come over and sleep with him, even if they didnt have sex….now that’s classic!

    Comment by CoFe | January 8, 2009

  4. I agree 100% on this one. Women like to scream they are independent….well NEWSFLASH, you’re NOT independent if you made it to the top off of child support payments, riding the coat-tail of a wealthy man or anyone else for that matter. Get your own money that you actually labored for….and unless you’re a prostitute….last time I checked…sharing your special cookies isn’t a fair form of labor!

    Comment by Candice | January 8, 2009

  5. I agree with you on this Jerzee. Women who are always looking for a hand out give the rest of us a bad name. However, I do believe that if both parties worked toward maintaining the home, then if a divorce can not be avoided then the assets should be divided as such. Most people are not married or having babies by rappers or ballers. So I think the statement goes both ways, there are some men out there that think women should not get anything. I recently read the story of the man that tried to kill his child to avoid child support and his wife so she didn’t get half. How trifling is that? Take inventory!

    Comment by Venom | January 8, 2009

  6. To quote Chris Rock on divorce and women complaining in court about a lifestyle they are “accustomed to”, “When you go to a restaurant you are “accustomed to” eating. When you leave they don’t owe you a steak!”

    In regards to all the money she’s already being given, she should be able to live off of that money alone. Too many people come into money and think they need to spend money and show that they have money. You never see Bill Gates rolling on 32’s, sporting a diamond and platinum grill, or wearing gaudy watches and Jewelry. All those thousands she should be able to live very comfortably. I know I could. To quote Kanye West, “She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money, She went to the doctor got lypo with ya money
    She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money”

    Comment by @mo@ | January 8, 2009

  7. LOL…and the sad deal is he never met the “real” person until the divorce proceedings, all the while to find out he was married to the “representative”… You know the saying,”how well do you know someone”? Can you say prenupt..

    Comment by UrbanRoyalty | February 22, 2009

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