EPIPHANY

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Things You “Shouldn’t” Do…

Before I begin, let me give the obligatory disclaimer…there is NOTHING funny about domestic violence.  I tend to err on the side of sarcasm, but please don’t think I condone a woman getting senselessly pounded on by a man that should know better.  Now having said that heeeeeeeeere we go!!!!!

This whole “Chris Brown beats Rihanna” thing has been the talk of the radio/beauty shop/nail salon/break room since the story broke on Sunday.  The only thing we know for sure is that Chris had an altercation with a female, and charges were pressed.  Because the name of the victim has not been officially released, we are all going by the pics of a busted up Rihanna on the internet, and her quick exodus to Barbados as confirmation that she was the victim.

Let’s keep this in perspective; Chris Brown is a 19-year-old boy.  He is not morally superior and he is not above doing something stupid (i.e. beating on his girlfriend).  At the same time Rihanna is an attractive woman in a grown up relationship doing grown up things, and unfortunately she has experienced something too many women go through on a daily basis.  I feel sorry for her because physical harm inflicted on you by the person that claims to love you is a horrible feeling!  I hope parents will use this situation as a teaching opportunity.   Teach our young men that if you put your hands on a woman NO MATTER WHAT SHE DID, there will be hell to pay.  Also teach them no matter how cute she is, if that little firecracker can push your buttons enough to make you haul off and slap her, then SHE IS NOT THE WOMAN FOR YOU.  At the same time, we need to teach our daughters, HANDS ARE NOT FOR HITTING.  If he loses his temper and gets to wailing on you, get out of there quickly, and CALL THE POLICE.  Tend to you injuries first and foremost, and then call your brothers to go find him.  No one wins in an abusive relationship!

So as you read this blog and ponder your personal relationships, where do you stand on the issue of “a man should never hit a woman”? Again there is nothing funny about domestic violence, and I believe a man “should” never hit a woman, but I am also woman enough to admit that there are some things I could do that might possibly warrant getting “shaken” half to death.  There is a rumor going around that Rihanna “allegedly” gave Chris Brown herpes.  This is still alleged as neither camp has made an official statement, but lets run with it for a minute.  Men, would being told you just got the gift you could NEVER give back warrant you busting a chick in her eye.  Go ahead and tell the truth, because I am not going to judge!

Let’s say it wasn’t as extreme as that.  Let’s say you are having dinner at your girlfriends place.  She sneaks a peek at your cell phone while you are in the bathroom (sloppy pimping if you left it on the table, but I digress…), and finds a bunch of naked pics from another female on your phone.  The pics are dated so she knows you just got them two days ago.  When you return to the table she gets to clowning and spits a mouth full of food in your face.  What would you do???  She SPIT IN YOUR FACE, is there anything more disrespectful?  And while we are on the subject…Ladies, if you spit in a man’s face…or better yet keyed his mama’s car do you really expect to escape that situation with no bodily harm?

The bible says thou should not kill.  I agree, killing is something you shouldn’t do, but as Biggie said…there’s gonna be a lot of slow singing and flower bringing if my burglar alarm starts ringing!  There is a segment of the population, psychotic men, that need to beat on a woman to feel superior.  They deserve to have a pot of hot grits splashed on them. No woman should live in fear of a man that claims to love her.  For the purpose of this blog, I am not talking about the Ike Turner’s of the world.  I am not defending Chris Brown, nor am I vilifying Rihanna.  I just want us to take a moment and honestly ask ourselves if there is any circumstance that would warrant knocking a woman’s block off…or at least shaking one until her weave fell out!
JerzeeChick

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February 12, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity, Life, News, Opinion

8 Comments »

  1. I know it is not a popular position, but I agree with Chris Rock. I have a few friends that get off on pushing a man to the point of getting the crap slapped out of them. I applaude men with enough self restraint not to hit a woman especially one that might be getting in his face and making a scene. No, men SHOULD NOT hit women. They are bigger and stronger, and should just be able to walk away, BUT if a man told me he gave me herpes I would try to kill him striaght up. So if it turns out that is what happened with Chris and Rihanna I understand.

    Comment by still waters | February 12, 2009

  2. JerzeeChick you said it best when you said “men if you are with a woman who can push your buttons to the point of physical violence then let her go…she is not the one!” There is no excuse for beating a woman bloody with your fists, strangling her to she passes out and then leaving her on the side of the road as you run away on foot…or so the story goes! Hearing about the incident is one thing but when you look at the pictures of Rihanna with her face all swollen and bruised it brings this to a whole new level.

    She looked at your phone…she grabbed your car keys…she gave you a package…you should have been handling your business better than that! None of this warrants beating a woman down like he did.

    For those men who think there are “reasons” that justify this beating, I would like to know if you had to go to the hospital to pick up your MOTHER or SISTER and you found her face bloody, swollen, cut, lip busted and bite marks on her body would you be asking her “what did you do to him for him to beat you this bad” or would you be asking “WHO DID THIS TO YOU AND WHERE IS HE?!!!” IF Chris Brown did this to Rihanna or ANY woman he’s a PUNK and he deserves to be charged and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

    Comment by Miss Linda | February 12, 2009

  3. No one should put their hands on one another period…
    There are some women out there who will hit and think they should not be hit back.

    I agree Jerzee…if it escalates to that level then they are not the one! Leave…

    Comment by Venom | February 12, 2009

  4. That video was on point. One of Chris Rock’s best! To answer your question, men SHOULD NOT hit women. No they should not do it BUT everyone, women included, might deserve an ass whipping once in a while. Like Chris Rock said, you just don’t do it. I admit I’ve had to grab a chick that was cutting up in public. I didn’t hit her. I just snatched her up and told her to calm her ass down. I then walked away to get my head together. SHe was all arms swinging and trying to scratch a brother. If I didn’t walk away when I did things would have turned real ugly.

    This whole Chris Brown thing is messed up because they are just kids and there lives will forever be scarred because of this incident. From the pictures I saw it looks like he beat the $hit out of her. Now if it was my sister, I’d be looking for ole boy, no doubt. But as a man I have to wonder what the hell went on between the two of them to make him snap. Chris Browns punk a$$ ain’t no killer so why did he bloody her like that?

    Comment by JBlaze | February 12, 2009

  5. That video was on point. One of Chris Rock’s best! To answer your question, men SHOULD NOT hit women. No they should not do it BUT everyone, women included, might deserve an ass whipping once in a while. Like Chris Rock said, you just don’t do it. I admit I’ve had to grab a chick that was cutting up in public. I didn’t hit her. I just snatched her up and told her to calm her ass down. I then walked away to get my head together. SHe was all arms swinging and trying to scratch a brother. If I didn’t walk away when I did things would have turned real ugly.

    This whole Chris Brown thing is messed up because they are just kids and there lives will forever be scarred because of this incident. From the pictures I saw it looks like he beat the $hit out of her. Now if it was my sister, I’d be looking for ole boy, no doubt. But as a man I have to wonder what the hell went on between the two of them to make him snap. Chris Browns punk a$$ ain’t no killer so why did he bloody her like that?

    Comment by JBlaze | February 12, 2009

  6. With the situation you just mentioned with the spitting in the face, when I read it, my first reaction was a slap. Spitting in the face is the ultimate disrespect. No matter who spits in your face that triggers a primal response of rage.

    As for male female violence, there should be none. Men should not hit women. Women should not hit men knowing that they may haul off and go Ike on you. This is an opportunistic society where people will push you as far as they can until you snap and then they can reap the rewards. Women ya’ll know that you can nonviolently push a man towards violence, DON’T! Men, DON’T HIT WOMEN! Women don’t hit men because they aren’t SUPOSSED to hit you back. To me a woman trying to provoke a man to hit her is as cowardly as a man hauling off and hitting a woman. With all that being said a man should be able to protect himself from anybody male or female is he’s being attacked. I’m pretty sure thats not the case with Chris Brown and Rihana thing from what I have heard. I just want to know the truth about their situation.

    Comment by @mo@ | February 12, 2009

  7. Well I’m on the fence really. I’ve been in a situation that a woman put her hands on me and I walked away. But I really didnt feel good about walking away at all. I felt defeated, less of a man. The only thing that saved her was the fact that I had nothing to prove. I’ve whoop men twice her size, me winning didnt mean anything. But the udder disrespect of her putting her hands on me was devastating. /now that I’m older I glad I did the right thing. I’ve have known several button pushers, they think it’s cute to try and mix it up with a man. Slap, push, kick, bust windows out of cars… I feel that society also adds to the issue by bangin that song all day on the radio. So young girls think it’s cute. Bust my windows out, you gonna have a real issue on your hands. I might not do the A#@ whoopin, but I got a few girls cousins that owe me favors.

    I’m a gentleman and I treat women like ladies. But every woman isn’t a lady, and for the woman that want to mix it up with man… Make sure you know who your dealing with. Make sure you know who’s window your bustin or slappin. Because MOST men dont have the restraint.

    Just like you teach your sons, to not to ever hit a woman. Tell you daughters not ever enter that zone, turn off the the Jazmine Sullivan and go home. Teach her to be a lady. Matter fact you turn off the Jazmine too. So I guess I would say, keep your hands off me and we won’t ever have to find out which side of the fence I’m on that day.

    Comment by The Lone Wolf | February 12, 2009

  8. I like the way everybody on the blog is being politically correct, but I’m not that girl!!!! Back in the day my brother was with what you might call a button pusher. She would show her ass at family functions and she put sugar in his gas tank (she was an old school chicken head). The gas tank incident was a big deal but he didn’t hit her. Later they got into it one night and the next
    Day he was at work and she egged his car in the parkn lot. Still no hit. Now my brother is a good guy but we all have our limits. She ran up on him and some friends in the club. Again she showed her ass and threw her drink in his face. Reflex kicked in and he mushed the $hit out of her. No slapping. No twisting of arms just a good old fashion mush!!!!

    Eventually they broke up and I asked him point blank why he never put his foot in her a$$. He said he never wanted to be labeled as a woman beater and even if she gave him ample reason the world would always view him as the guy who beat his girlfriend. I respected his answer
    But he went on to date a few more
    “firecrackers” and I promptly had to whip one of them because I knew he wouldn’t do it (she acted out at my grandmomma’s 80th birthday so that
    B!?ch had to catch a beat down). I agree with lone wolf in that you should always have a cousin or sister go handle those wanna feisty types. Also men “should not” hit women but if she hits you first she should
    Be prepared to accept whatever happens after that!

    Comment by Samantha | February 12, 2009


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