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Cook Out 101

I love a good cookout.  Even though I don’t eat meat, there is something about the smell of food cooked on the grill that makes me smile.  It’s Memorial Day Weekend, which marks the official beginning of cookout season.  In honor of that I thought we should all come together to discuss proper cookout etiquette.  While I know we at Epiphanyblog know better…some people might need to be schooled!

1.    Peeing in the pool is so 80’s.  I think they have special chlorine that will expose you, so please spare yourself the embarrassment (and everyone else the repulsion), and exit the pool when nature calls!
2.      Know when to say when.  The drunk person at the cookout is always good for a few laughs, but do you really want it to be you?
3.    No one likes a pig.  Most cookouts are “all you can eat”, but don’t try to out eat everyone in attendance.  The host expects there to be enough food to go around, so don’t ruin it for the latecomers.
4.    And speaking of latecomers….cookouts usually start in the mid afternoon.  Don’t show up at 10pm and expect them to re-light the grill for you.
5.    Even though most people will tell you it’s not necessary, you should at least offer to bring something.  Even if it’s only a bag of ice, try not to show up empty handed.
6.    Supply and demand is an integral part of being a good cookout guest.  If your discerning palette demands a certain kind of beer…supply it yourself!
7.    It should go without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway.  Clean up after yourself.  You’re eating off of paper plates, so is it that hard to throw them away?  You don’t have to help with the dishes, but throw your chicken bones and dirty napkins away!
8.    Nothing annoys me more than kids running wild at a cookout, especially when the kids in question are guests.  Your hostess is not also running a day camp.   Keep your eye on your own kids!
9.    If you offer to make your “world famous” whatever whatever, bring enough for everyone.  I’m not saying you should provide a ten gallon vat of baked beans or seafood salad, but I’m guessing a small 8 ounce portion won’t be enough.
10.    …what am I forgetting???  Please free to fill in this blank!


May 21, 2009 - Posted by | Laughter, Life


  1. Please when bringing something, don’t try your new recipes out on us. Make sure that you have tested it out beforehand (at gotten positive feedback), this isn’t a science experiment!

    Comment by Irving on the Crest | May 21, 2009

  2. Don’t double dip. That’s just nasty!!!

    Comment by Samantha | May 21, 2009

  3. I have not peed in a pool since I was about 5 for fear of that color change, pee identifying chlorine!! I think you covered all your bases.

    Comment by ncmama | May 21, 2009

  4. Don’t forget to wash your hand hands and use hand sanitizer. I really don’t want to touch the food after you blown your nose, picked your nose, pulled a wedgie out or licked sauce from your fingers.

    BTW…I have a story for that in “My Lion’s Share”

    Comment by Venom Patton | May 21, 2009

  5. Most hosts don’t mind you bringing a guest with you, but when you show up with 5 or 6 of your boyz in tow, empty handed, you may get left off of the invitation list next year.

    Comment by Miss Linda | May 22, 2009

  6. You know I come with my small bag of turkey products to place on the grill 🙂

    Comment by Nichelle | May 25, 2009

  7. ONE PLATE PER PERSON!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family for the week! You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the gate. Thanks to Cousin Pookie and his greedy behind family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and AMEX are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET!
    (Leave some meat for the host & hostess!)

    Comment by Roanell | May 31, 2009

  8. I have always admired people who are good cooks because I think that it really takes time before someone would become a good cook and would be able to come up with a somewhat perfect dish.

    Comment by Levon | July 10, 2009

  9. Cooking is really a fun activity you can share with the whole family especially when you get to cook for your love ones. There are numerous cooking styles you can check out in the web.

    Comment by ruthdabu | July 11, 2009

  10. I also love having cook-outs with friends and relatives. It just makes the whole eating experience more fun and memorable since you’re with the people you value the most and all the sumptuous foods to last you all day long.

    Comment by Lestat | July 11, 2009

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