EPIPHANY

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Pimp Wimp

I’m wondering, do I have the word “desperate” tattooed on my forehead?  Something must be tattooed up there because I swear I am a magnet for the cheesiest of pick up lines.  If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you remember the story about the guy and the “drinking the bathwater” comment.  There was also the guy that decided to call me “Number 8” because of the Obama ’08 T-shirt.  As tragically funny as those incidents were, I’ve found that I get the cheesiest lines in response to the “I don’t eat meat” statement.

Maybe I must look like someone that eats meat.  Maybe the surplus of wing spots and chitterling selling venues in Atlanta makes it impossible to believe that anyone could voluntarily avoid meat.  Whatever the reason, I get the most cheesy commentary when I say I don’t eat meat.  A few days ago I was in the supermarket and Mayor McCheese asked which barbeque sauce I thought was best.  I told him I didn’t eat meat.  He was shocked and asked if I ate chicken, and I told him no.  He then proceeded to ask me, and I quote: DO YOU EAT SCRIMPS AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

First of all, there is no “C” in the word shrimp, and second of all shrimp is both singular and plural so there is no “S” on the end of that word.  I didn’t give him the much needed phonics lesson; I just smiled and shook my head “no” as I walked away.  I managed to contain my laughter as I asked myself:  Lord, why did the man ask me if I ate scrimps?

I thought it couldn’t get any better than that, but low and behold, I ran into someone today that really took the cake.  In Atlanta there are a plethora of soul food restaurants.  Most of them proudly proclaim they sell chitterlings year round, so that gives you an idea of the clientele.  Today, as I waited to order my veggie plate a reject from some 1979 pimp convention sidled up to me.
Pimp WimpSo I hear the ribs here are saying something.
JerzeeChick:    I wouldn’t know.  I don’t eat meat.
Pimp Wimp proceeds to look me up and down.
Pimp Wimp: What you say?  I sho woulda neva guessed that one.

Pimp Wimp then rubs his belly.  I pull out my phone and pretend to have a conversation with my imaginary friend on the other end.  There is a five-minute wait for sweet potato’s, so I place my order and step aside to wait for my food.  I wasn’t paying attention and Pimp Wimp sidles up to me again as I sip my sweet tea.  This time he brings his “A-Game”! *NOT*
Pimp Wimp: I was thinkin’ brown skin.  You should let me take you out for a steak dinner.  I guarantee if you have a steak dinner with me, you’ll love meat.

I spit my sweet tea clear across the room.  I laugh hysterically and simply say “no thank you” as I move away from him expeditiously.  Not five seconds later, a woman walks in and grabs his arm.  She is wearing a patchwork leather jacket circa 1979 and gold rings on every finger.  A definite match made in heaven!  They called my number shortly thereafter, so I grabbed my food and left.  Why did Pimp Wimp have the nerve to wink at me as I passed him?

The entire exchange reminded me of all the cheesy lines I’ve heard in my lifetime…and I wondered WHY ME?!?!?!?!?  I searched for the below video, as he was full of bad pick-up lines.  Hopefully this little blast from the past will make you laugh and inspire you to share some of the worst pick up lines you’ve ever heard or used!
JerzeeChick


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March 5, 2009 Posted by | Laughter, Relationships, Single | 4 Comments

Ms. Independent?

I keep hearing men, especially celebrities, talking about how they are attracted to women that make their own money and don’t “need” the help of a man.  I can appreciate that because I too think an independent man is attractive.  Am I selling out the Womens Movement because I think this whole “support the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed to” mess has gone too far?

I was a fan of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.  NeNe was my favorite by far, and the latest antics of Sheree have gone a long way to move her to the bottom of the list.  Throughout the season she talked about how she was trying to obtain a seven-figure divorce settlement from her ex-husband.  He’s a former NFL player, and they have two children together.

Now again, I hate to seem like a sell-out to my sista’s, but if you haven’t caught a pass nor made a tackle, what makes you think you are entitled to this mans fortune?  He earned that money you didn’t.  I don’t care if he had servants feeding you grapes three times a day, it was a done deal when you two parted ways.  You don’t get to ball out of control anymore.  Welcome to the real world….and in the real world we live on a BUDGET!  In the real world we live WITHIN our means!

Before you roast me, keep this in mind: in the initial divorce settlement she got a lump sum of over seven hundred thousand dollars.  She also got a portion of the marital assets and currently gets money from his pension and one hundred and thirteen thousand dollars a year in child support.  All of that and this heifer still ain’t happy *rolls eyes now*!  She doesn’t get alimony, so her lawyers have taken this thing to the Georgia Supreme Court.  Their argument: she only has a high school education and has limited skills and therefore can not earn a decent living.  I’m sorry, but that is some mess!  How can any woman in good conscience allow herself to be painted as a “loser” in an effort to squeeze out more cash?  The man is taking care of his kids, why can’t she get a J-O-B?!?!?!?!

Now I believe in equitable sharing of assets, and I believe that if a woman raised your kids and supported you in your career goals she shouldn’t have to move back to the projects when y’all break up.  I also believe that child support should not be a “come up”.  When you leave a relationship, you also leave the perks that go along with said relationships.

So Epiphanyblog, I’d like to hear your thoughts about this whole “lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed to” argument.  Has it gone too far?
JerzeeChick

January 8, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity, Gossip, Opinion, Relationships | 7 Comments

Why Do People Cheat?

When I was little, I used to play games with my older cousin.  She would usually win because she was older, and better at them than me.   Eventually I got tired of losing so I decided to level the playing field.  I had a deck of Old Maid Cards, and I scribbled a little circle on the back of the Old Maid card so that I would not pick it from her hand.  I started winning of course, but then I got sloppy.  I started peering too intensely at the cards before I would take them from her hand, and then she was on to me.  She realized what I had done, and so to even things out, she marked almost all of the cards so that I would no longer know which one was the Old Maid Card.  I cheated because I got tired of losing.  In the end, my cheating got me nowhere.  I got caught, and she continued to win.              

I no longer cheat at cards.  Is it because of my Old Maid fiasco? *doubtful*  Is it because I believe in that If you lie you’ll cheat, if you cheat you’ll steal, if you steal you’ll kill adage? *not so much*   I just think that when you get caught cheating, even in a simple game of UNO, it reflects poorly on your integrity.  I just would rather not have “cheater” as one of the adjectives used to describe me at any friendly gathering!              

Anyone that has ever been cheated on by a significant other knows first hand what cheating can do to any relationship.  I will give cheaters the benefit of the doubt in that they never think they will get caught, and thus never intend to inflict the hurt and despair their cheating subsequently causes.  Having said that, I still come back to my original question, why do people cheat?  Chris Rock said he’d rather get caught stealing something from the government than get caught cheating on a woman.  I cheated at Old Maid because I wanted to win, but in a relationship, what exactly do you win?  As a matter of fact isn’t it pretty much a lose-lose situation?   

Do you think the athletes that use steroids are cheaters?  I understand that steroid use is illegal in competitive sports, but does using these banned substances constitute cheating?  Let me begin by saying what Marion Jones did was dead wrong!  I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.  For a moment I was like, maybe she didn’t know she was taking steroids.  Maybe she really thought it was herbs or something.  Then I saw a news report that stated there was a good chance the people on her Olympic Relay team would also be stripped of their medals, and I got a little hot.  I hate it when one person spoils it for everyone.  She was the cheater, and now the whole team has to suffer.  Again, cheating is a lose-lose situation.            

I am not an athlete, but I think it’s your natural abilities that should propel you, and the playing field should remain level.  If I were an athlete and I found out my opponents were using steroids it would make me not want to play anymore. (Yes, I would take my ball and go home!)             

Barry Bonds will forever have a cloud of scandal hanging over his home run title.  Assuming he took the steroids, I’m sure in the back of his mind, he was trying to win.  He did the needful to score homeruns and lead his team to victory.  Marion Jones I’m sure wanted to win as well.  She was poised to go into the record books, and winning as many medals as possible would cement her place in sports history.  She’s cemented in sports history alright…but not for the reasons she wanted to be!  Barry Bonds will literally have an asterisk on his hall of fame baseball for all the world to see.  Yet another example of cheating as a lose-lose!            

A football coach is credited with coining the phrase:  Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.  Really?  Is that the problem?  Have we become so obsessed with winning that we forgot another little phrase most of us learned in grade school:  Cheaters never prosper!  Church folks will tell you in a heartbeat: What’s done in the dark, will always come to light.  Anyone that watches Maury, or Jerry Springer can attest to the fact that all the cheating gets uncovered when those paternity test results get read.  Don’t athletes realize that the pee test will shut them down?              

Does the desire to win cloud a person’s judgment to the point of stupidity?  Does the rush of getting away with something give us that air of I’ll never get caught arrogance?  Time and time again we see people getting busted cheating.  We’ve all known a classmate who got caught.  We all have at least one friend who’s man or woman got busted doing something they had no business doing, yet people continue to cheat.  If there are any cheaters in the blogosphere, I need to know…Why do people cheat?  More importantly, does the reward you gain by cheating out way all that you stand to lose WHEN you get caught?

JerzeeChick

October 11, 2007 Posted by | Celebrity, Life, Opinion, Relationships, Sports | 6 Comments

Everything In Its Place?

When was the last time you were truly honest with someone, even though you knew it would cause you a headache in the end?  A couple of nights ago I was having a conversation with a fellow “Single in the City” friend.  He was telling me about a movie he had just watched where one of the main characters said, “there is no place for honesty in a healthy relationship”.  My friend and I debated the virtues and pitfalls of honesty for a while, but it really made me think.           

At first I was all for 100% honesty.  I truly believe that for me, honesty is the best policy.  I would rather hear the truth than be lied to, no matter the situation.  As we continued to talk I agreed I always wanted to hear the truth, but I don’t always tell the truth.  I have learned over the years that everyone can’t handle it.  I am not only talking about male/female relationships.  I often choose not to tell my friends the truth because it’s easier to “go along to get along”, than to open the can of worms that comes with honesty.  Is that crazy?  By not being honest are we simply enabling the behavior that we don’t like?             

As an example, I associate with two people that are chronically tardy.  I hate to be late, and I hate to be kept waiting, yet these two people in my circle seem to have no concept of time.  For one of them, the tardiness is funny.  I know she tries to be on time, but she just can’t manage it.  I know she’s going to be late, so I expect it and it doesn’t bother me.  Now the other person…her tardiness annoys me to no end.  Not only is she always late, but she doesn’t care that she’s late.  She offers no apology, and it is as if wasting my time is of no consequence to her.  I could be honest and finally tell her how it bothers me.  I could tell her that the always showing up late with no remorse and that “and what” attitude wears on my last nerve.  Yes I could tell her this and a whole lot more but I realized the nature of our relationship is one where I bite my tongue because I would rather suffer in silence than hear her justifications.  (FYI: There is nothing worse than a person that will be dead wrong and then try to tell me how un-wrong they really were).                          

The aforementioned “Single In the City” friend is constantly telling me to keep it 100 (as in be 100% honest).  In the spirit of this blog I decided to count how many people I feel comfortable keeping it 100 with.  I AM SICK! My list consists of 5.5 people (five definite’s and a possible).  Of all the people I know….of all my friends, family and associates (male and female), I can only keep it 100 with five maybe six of them. (I am fairly certain the rest of the people I know can’t handle the truth). *somebody pray for me*. 

We all have that one friend that you just can’t tell nothing, and we would rather take the she’s grown stance than speak our minds.  Is your friendship any less relevant because you would rather spare her feelings than hear her mouth? If you know for a 100% fact your home girl is dating a guy that is a lowdown dirty dog, do you tell her?  It might sound harsh, but if you know she’s not going to leave him, what exactly do you gain?  You tell her, she confronts him, and then tells him EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID, he denies, and then is giving you the screw face every time you come around…..no thanks, I’ll mind my business on that one. She’s grown!

What about families?  If you have a relative that you know is a certifiable NUT will you say it?  Do you call them on their nonsense, or continue with the status quo of their nuttiness because you don’t want to spearhead the next family feud?  We probably know our family members better than anyone, so we know who can take constructive criticism and who can’t stand to hear that her potato salad is not the answer!  Censorship is totally acceptable when it comes to family.  The last thing anyone wants is to see their branch of the family tree permanently severed.

But back to my original point….Do you think honesty has a place in a healthy relationship?  And on a more personal note…Does your “keep it 100″ list resemble a spades hand or is it more equitable?  

JerzeeChick 

September 20, 2007 Posted by | Friendship, Girlfriends, Life, Opinion, Relationships | 6 Comments

Single In The City

Let me start by saying I am not bitter.  I believe in love, and I think when two people are on the same page relationships can be good.  Last week in my “Don’t Ask” blog I highlighted the virtues of the single life.  I had several cosigners that pretty much felt the same way.  For us, at this point in our lives the single life works well.  We are a sub-culture that I like to call “Single In The City’s”.  We embrace our singledom and we are happy.  We are single, but we are not desperate…which brings me to my next topic… The Desperately Seeking Whatever’s.  The DSW’s just want somebody.  They are not too particular, they are just tired of reading issue after issue of Bride Magazine.  They hate not having a date to bring to family functions and their heads are so full of useless wedding banter that if they don’t get to select a china pattern and reception menu soon their heads might explode *rolling eyes now*.  They look at every man as a potential husband.  You might often hear them mumbling “okay God, is he the one” as they sidle up to some dude at Fox Sports Grill. The problem with the DSW is she doesn’t know the difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now! 

The male DSW’s are just as bad.  They want a Boo/Wife/Baby Mama/Jump Off so bad that most of them come to the club every weekend prepared to seal the deal.  You know the type.  Very over zealous about handing you his business card when you didn’t even ask him his name!  Starts calling you Sweetie three seconds into the conversation and whispers something dumb like I can’t believe I found you. He’s also very touchy feely. *shaking head in utter disgust*. The DSW’s deserve to be together. If this were a perfect world it would work out that way, but alas I live in Atlanta which means some fool with his hot breath and his cheesy pick up lines is always going to be trying to get in my face! 

I am not waiting to exhale.  I never lost my groove, so I don’t need to get it back.  I’m just single in the city.  I try not to mix too much with the DSW’s because those chicks can wear me out.  I prefer to hang out with my fellow Single in the City homies because at least I know we are all on the same page.  We all agree that the dating game in Atlanta is like a bad Lifetime movie.  We can people watch in the club for hours because it is by far more entertaining than anything playing at Regal Cinemas. 

On any given night at any club/bar/lounge/social gathering you’ll find the usual suspects.  There will usually be four types of men in attendance: Cheesy, Corny, Cocky, and Contrived.  Not to be outdone, you’ll also find four types of women: Lame, Corny, Whatever, and Pressed.  You’ve seen them.  You can spot the corny chick from clear across the room. She wears mini-dresses and pant-suits from the 80’s.  Her weave ponytail is okay, but her edges are always a hot mess!  We all also recognize the corny guy quick.  He’s the guy that wears a bow tie and suspenders a little too often.  He may wear a t-shirt and argyle sweater vest to the club.  If you get peek at his socks, more times than not they are argyle as well.   All things being equal, you can work with corny!  A corny guy/girl is not always a lost cause.

Next we have the Contrived man and the Pressed woman.  They would both be a part of that DSW crowd.  A contrived man is the guy in the club wearing wide leg linen pants a la Aaron Hall and a tight t-shirt to show off his pecks *rolling eyes again* .  He’s a little over zealous with his business card too, and if he has a luxury vehicle he’ll be walking around with his key prominently displayed.  Every time you see a contrived man he is going to have on a tight shirt so that you can be impressed by his physique (he is probably trying to get into some sort of bootleg fitness magazine).  Not to be outdone, the Pressed woman is always going to have on too tight ill fitting jeans, or a low cut top, or a short skirt and stiletto’s.  They both try too hard!  They are desperate and they want you to want them.  Please don’t fall for it.  They are totally self absorbed and deserve to be saddled with EACH OTHER only. They can feed into each other’s narcissistic personalities quite nicely, while leaving the rest of us alone. 

The contrived guy has delusions of grandeur.  He will tell you he is staying in one of his rental properties. Translation: He is renting a house from his homeboy.  He will offer to buy you a drink, pay in cash with a hundred dollar bill, then count his change and not leave a tip *rolling eyes so hard I think they got stuck*.….oh yeah did I mention the Contrived guys are cheap too!  More than anything I hate a cheap man.  Once you see hints of his tight wad-ness you need to run in the other direction because it’s only a matter of time before he starts asking you to fill up his gas tank when he picks you up for a date.

The pressed woman also has delusions of grandeur.  She’s the type to wear her sunglasses inside the gym.  She will re-touch her make-up and perfume before she hits the treadmill, and then she’ll start to smell like a French whore five minutes into her run because that perfume is too strong.  I hate the pressed woman with her Diana Ross weave that she tries to pass off as her own, and her fake Hermes bag and scarf that are in heavy rotation (I’m no hater, but If I see you wearing runned over Payless shoes, I have a hard time believing that you can afford to spend 5G’s on a purse….and put that stupid scarf away.  It’s 90 degrees outside)!  Men do not be fooled by the Pressed woman.  She may look good on the outside (if you like that tacky over-processed look), but it’s all smoke and mirrors!

So just to recap, you want to avoid the Pressed and Contrived men and women.  Trust me, they are always way more trouble than they’re worth.  Us “Single In The City’s” know how to navigate through the masses of foolishness, but I wanted to put those of you with an untrained eye up on the game. When you are out this weekend, scope them out from a distance.  You’ll see the Contrived guys posted up at the bar trying to hold their stomachs in. He might hit you with a weak pick-up line like “Your husband let you come out by yourself.*gag gag vomit faint*.  You’ll see the Pressed women trying sidle up to any man that looks like he might be buying drinks. She’ll be very touch feely too, and probably giggling like a six year old because someone told her it made her look cute. *slitting wrists with a letter opener now*. I will pick up next week with more of my Single in the City misadventures. And to all you Contrived and Pressed DSW’s that might be reading this blog….watch your backs because I just dropped a major dime! J 

JerzeeChick       

 

  

September 13, 2007 Posted by | Girlfriends, Relationships, Single, Society | 2 Comments

DON’T ASK!

If one more person asks me why I’m single I think I’m going to scream!  For some reason this has been the topic of conversation too many times over the past week.  I am not one of those women fasting and praying that God send me a husband.  I don’t carry around pictures of wedding dresses in my organizer.  I have no desire to know the going rate for wedding receptions at this point in my life. I don’t hit the club every weekend trying to find a new Boo.  As a matter of fact I go to Atlantic Station to laugh at the desperate women in their too tight man catching outfits, and the cheesy men with their horrible pick up lines.  Anyone that knows me knows this.  

Why are you single? Why don’t you have a boyfriend/husband?  A better question is: Why are you all in my business??? 

During the regular “catching up” conversation with friends, the “are you dating” question is bound to come up.  That, I get.  It’s that sad disappointed look you get from strangers when they try to get up in your business. It’s the way they sigh right before they say: I can’t believe you’re still single.  I am so over them with their nosey disapproving glances *rolling eyes now*. 

And don’t get me started on the older relatives that you see about once a year.  Baby ain’t you found yourself no husband yet?  Hmh, maybe if you didn’t work so much you might be able to keep a man. You know Miss So-and-So has a handsome grandson.  He plays the tambourine in the choir.   *rolling eyes as I stab myself with a rusty fork* .  I’ll take a case of TB with a dose of poison before I date any man known for playing the tambourine in the choir….thanks, but no thanks!

Majority of the single men and women with sense are single for the same two reasons: We want to be, and we refuse to settle. I don’t want a man in a red suit and matching gators.  I don’t want a man that spends more time looking at himself in the mirror than I do.  I am all for a guy being in shape, but I once dated a guy who was constantly asking me if he looked fat.  I also don’t want a “work in progress”.  I need him to come fully assembled with a couple of references.  It might sound rude, but I did the longsuffering bit already.  I am so over that now. 

I am sure single men feel the same way.  By this point in your life, you’ve been working for a while, started saving for retirement, you’re not on drugs, you aren’t on parole *fingers crossed*, and you don’t have baby mama drama *fingers still crossed*.  Why should you have to settle for Boomquisha and her four kids.  You do not need them coming over and tearing up your nice leather furniture.  You put a lot of effort into laying out your bachelor pad!  Don’t let her bring those Be-Be’s over there with their Now-A-Later wrappers and French fry crumbs J!

To all those women who are always asking “when are you gonna have a baby”…I need y’all to cease and desist with that foolishness too!  Why are you more concerned about my biological clock than I am?  And please stop sending out pictures of your little bundle of joy with every email.  News Flash:  Lil Mama looks the same to me today as she looked in the pictorial you sent me last week.  Stop inundating my inbox with that mess!  

Those that feel obligated to always inquire about a persons status…STOP THE MADNESS.  He/She is single just because!  Because he wants to be.  Because she didn’t find a good man yet.  Then again, maybe it’s actually a lie.  Maybe he/she has a rack of boo’s at the house but doesn’t want you all up in their business.  Maybe you are being too intrusive with your questions.  When he/she feels sufficiently boo’d up, and wants to tell you he/she will *sucking teeth and rolling eyes*.

To all the single men and women…there is nothing wrong with us.  Let’s keep it real; majority of the people trying to push us down the aisle are doing so because misery loves company.  I don’t know why our being single is such a big deal to everyone else.  Is their a deadline that no one told us about?  The way they say still single as if the statute of limitations is about to expire, and I’m going to get deported or something!  If there is some type of Boo Bonus out there that I’m not aware of please let me know.  If the government is giving out tax breaks I’ll be sure to get boo’d up post haste!  Otherwise please don’t ask me again!

JerzeeChick

 

September 6, 2007 Posted by | Life, Relationships, Single, Society | 6 Comments

The Arrogance of Men

In recent weeks/months we have been privy to the public undoing of several elected officials.  People that at one time stood for justice and all that stuff, are now reduced to resignations, plea bargains, and appeals.  The only shining light in all of this, (if you can call it that), is this little trend seems to know no color line.  It’s happening to them the same way it’s happening to us. (Am I racial profiling????)

I know I’m not the only person that has noticed the arrogance of some of our male elected officials?   Do they really think they can wine and dine their girlfriends on the tax payer’s dime and never get caught?  I am not saying women don’t cheat.  I am not saying all men do cheat.  What I am saying is a woman would never get hemmed up like that.  I repeat, a woman would NEVER NEVER EVER find herself in the position some of these politicians find themselves in right now! 

I am not going to name names because I don’t want PETA and the GOP coming after me, but what kind of idiot would get caught up in a scandal with the DC Madame?  You are a high ranking official in the State Department, clown!  Did you really think using an escort service to “send some gals over to the condo” was a good idea?  A woman would NEVER get caught in some mess like that.  Let a high ranking woman in the State Department want some “dudes to come kick it in the penthouse”.  She is going to call her cousin La-La and have La-La peruse the local club and invite the guys buying drinks up for the after party!

And for all the men that give their girlfriends (and boyfriends in some cases) jobs for which they are undeserving and grossly under-qualified…this too will eventually be exposed!  I don’t care how good he looks and I don’t care what kind of game he can spit when they are alone, a woman knows better than to raise any eyebrows by appointing her Boo with the GED to be her chief of staff!  No, she will give him a job on the janitorial staff to make sure he has those good government offered benefits.  Paparazzi will never catch a female elected official giving her boyfriend a hug at a political rally.  We know better!

I am all for the hook up, BUT…..only a man would be so dumb as to show his side chick preferential treatment when it comes to business deals that eventually become a matter of public record.  Hook up 101 clearly states: “when giving a friend the hook up, do it on the down low as to not arouse suspicions and get everybody busted”.  Hook up 202 is directed at the recipient, and it clearly states: “Don’t get greedy”.

If a woman really wanted to take her boy toy on vacation she would take a crew of about twenty on said trip.  It would be coed and filled with all the people from her camp that might have a reason to come along.  She would slide GED Boo in there under the premise that he won some bogus team achievement award.  She might even go so far as to take every janitor on his shift along just to make the story that much more believable.  She would have a separate room set up for their trysts (paid for with her home girl’s credit card).  No way would a female politician ever be so arrogant as to think she could jet off with her boyfriend in tow and it never come to light.  Women know how to cover their tracks and think on their feet.  Women are creative and cautious.  Men are arrogant and asinine! 

I don’t know how these politicians manage to get so caught up in their foolishness that they think they are above getting caught. To every man reading this blog; I implore you to think it through to the consequences!  Let Eric Benet, Jude Law, Donald Trump, Michael Strahan, Bill Clinton, and Jim McGreevy be your guides.  I’m sure the handwriting was on the wall long before their stories were splashed across the Star Ledger, AJC and New York Post. Women get it!  I think we can all agree we will never see the likes of J-Lo preggers by the pool boy, and never read about Mary J having to cut Kendu a check for 15 million.  Hillary will never be on CNN defending herself against allegations of impropriety with a Junior staffer!  WE KNOW BETTER!

I’m sorry if this blog came across as male bashing, but the truth is the truth!  All we can do is say a prayer for the nit-wits when they get caught and shake our heads at the Kim Porter’s, Vanessa Bryant’s  and Andrea Kelly’s (chester molester R Kelly’s wife) as they gaze lovingly into camera’s for all the world to see.

JerzeeChick 

August 9, 2007 Posted by | Opinion, Politics, Relationships, Society | 6 Comments

Friendship

In Pre-K I had two very good friends.  At the age of three what do we really know about friends, let alone “good friends”?  As I grew older I formulated other friendships.  I did the whole Best Friends Forever thing in my high school yearbooks, and swore we’d be friend for life.  Time passes and people grow.  Most of those people are no longer in my life.  I guess they were there for a season, and when that season ended so did the friendship.

Fast forward to a new millennium, and here I am.  As I look over my life I see how truly blessed I am to associate with the people I now call “friends”.  A few of them have been there for the long ride; two since first grade, and one since high school.  Majority of the rest of the people I call my friends came along in college or shortly thereafter.  We were all growing up and finding ourselves together.  At some point we clicked, and life long friendships were born.  Even though most of us have moved away and we rarely see each other, we are still “friends”.  It’s not about the quantity of time we spend on the phone or emailing one another, it’s about the quality of the experiences we’ve shared.  I have a couple of friends that I’ve known since the late nineties.  While they weren’t around for my asymmetrical bob, the BSU years, and the infamous bone crusher incident of ’95 they are still my friends.

How do you define your friends?  It’s not necessarily the person that is ready to hit the clubs with you every night.  While he/she might be a friend now, what happens in twenty years when you are no longer interested in the club scene?  Do you really see this friendship growing with you as your path in life changes? 

There is nothing wrong with “work friends”, the “friend from exercise class”, or the “friend that does your taxes”.  They are good friends to have too, but today I’m talking about those tried and true friends.  The ride or die friends that would gladly cut somebody for the sake of saving my life if it came down to it!   The friends that taught me not to take myself so seriously and the people that laughed with me during the good times and cried with me during the bad.  The people I called when I was in need, and the people who knew I’d be there when they needed me.  Those are my friends, and today I celebrate them.

Take the time to celebrate your friends too!  Even if there are several states and time zones between you, pull out the old photo album and laugh at the good ole days.  Husbands and wives can come and go, and children will eventually grow up and get lives of their own.  Don’t forget about those people that were there for you before you became who you are today!  Meet for a “stroll down memory lane” cocktail. Send them a shout out text, or a let’s get caught up email.  Whatever you do, do it in the spirit of the friendship that will keep you bonded for the rest of your lives. 

 JerzeeChick

June 21, 2007 Posted by | Friendship, Girlfriends, Relationships | 6 Comments