Sloppy Pimpin’

One by one we see politicians being exposed as philandering cheaters.  Often it’s the same people that enjoy climbing on their moral high horses being exposed.  I can’t even say it’s all about Republicans and Conservatives, because we see the sprinkling of Democrats being caught out there too.

Marital infidelity is primarily between a husband and wife.  Unfortunately when you are in the public eye your business is put out on Front Street with the quickness.  It climbs to the top of the CNN ticker even faster when you have a history of pointing fingers at other people when their indiscretions are publicized.    They say people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.  I say people in glass houses shouldn’t even touch rocks!!!

Speaking of rocks…you have to be living under one if you haven’t heard about South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford.  It seems Governor Sanford went missing for several days.  His Lt. Governor didn’t know where he was.  His senior staffers didn’t know where he was.  His wife also said she didn’t know where he was.  The cover story was a hiking trip in the Appalachians.  His cell phone was going straight to voicemail.  He wasn’t replying to email.  He was just MIA.  How exactly does a public official, a governor no less, think he can just dip off like that?  Sloppy Pimpin’

I DO NOT condone cheating and by all accounts by the time this little tryst took place his wife was well aware of the affair, but COMMON SENSE MUCH????  Did he really think he could take up in another country with the side boo without adequately covering his tracks?  Even the guy working on fry’s in McDonalds has sense enough to get a friend to cover for him when he dips out to meet up with ole girl from Popeye’s!

When the New Jersey Governor went down in the gay lover scandal we shook our heads.  When the Governor of New York went down in the escort for hire money laundering scandal we shook our heads….but Mark Sanford is the epitome of Sloppy Pimpin’.  Does it really get any worse?  The only highlight in this story is his wife is not doing the longsuffering stand by your man in the press conference bit!  As if the affair is not bad enough on its own, the way these politicians parade their wives out like dedicated show ponies is enough to make my stomach turn.  Glad to see Jenny Sanford had a little more self-respect.

Like I said the marital infidelity should be between the husband and wife, and if she can forgive him that is her business.  In what is probably a very tumultuous and emotional time to expect her to put your career aspirations ahead of her own pain just adds insult to injury.  Jenny, thankfully, wasn’t having it.  She let Mark’s sloppy pimpin’ do him in and refused to hold his hand and pose for pictures during his public unraveling.  At the height of his alleged disappearance she said she didn’t know where he was.  I wonder if she knew.  As a parent I would think you would let the mother of your children know when you left the country…but then again what kind of man dips out on his kids for Father’s Day?

There is no talk of impeachment, but I’m wondering…how do you not get punished for going MIA?  His sloppy pimpin’ left his state with no clear leadership.  What if there was a natural disaster while he was doing the Tango in Argentina?  Public outcry is usually swift when it’s a democrat caught with his pants down.  The only thing missing during the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal was burning crosses and pitchforks, and we knew he was right in the oval office doing his dirt!  Shouldn’t there be some type of restitution for Governor Sanford?  Doesn’t he owe his constituents that much?
JerzeeChick

The Struggle For Equality…

We have elected a Black man to the White House.  There is a Latina woman being considered for the Supreme Court.  A woman almost earned the Democratic nomination for the Presidency.  By all accounts we’ve come a long way, yet I still get screwed by the air conditioner repair man!

Let me begin at the beginning.  My air conditioner died last Tuesday.  *pauses to wipe the sweat from my brow* I was sitting on the couch and all of a sudden it just died.  I called the warranty company to set up an appointment.  I should have known there was going to be trouble when the technician finally showed up at 6:45 pm on Thursday even though he was scheduled to arrive between 9 and 1.

So he goes into the attic and tells me one of the parts died, and he would have to come back on Monday to replace it (he gave me some crap about having to order the part blah blah blah).  I phoned the warranty company on Monday to find out what time they were coming, only to be told the technician just turned in my paperwork on MONDAY MORNING, and thus the part had not been ordered yet.  They promised to call me back later in the day to schedule the appointment for Tuesday.

Now if you are keeping track you realize I am right at one week of no A.C. when I call again, only to find still no appointment had been set.  If I were a man, I know this WOULD NOT be happening to me.  Under normal circumstances I would be escalating up the food chain and going off on every person I talked to, but understanding the delicate situation I was remaining polite.  I was pretty much at the mercy of these people and if I went all JerzeeChick on them, they wouldn’t put me on the schedule until August!

So I am trying to be the dutiful and polite customer when I called back again Wednesday morning only to find out they decided to deny my warrant claim.  Surely you are all wondering why on earth would they do that.  How about the technician told them the A.C. failed due to a power surge caused by a lightening strike.  WHAT?!?!?!?!

I was FLOORED.  How on earth do they come up with that crap one week later? Again I say no way would this be happening to a man!  On what planet do you think you can tell a person their house got struck by lightening and they didn’t know it?  On what planet do you think a power surge caused by a lightening strike would ONLY affect the air conditioner.  I’m just saying…if the house got struck by lightening, I’m guessing more than just the air conditioner would be impacted. CLOWNS!!!

So Epiphanyblog, as I find myself escalating up the food chain and seeking second opinions from other HVAC specialists in an effort the make the warranty company cover the repair, I ask that you all send cool thoughts my way, and ponder this question:  When will the struggle end?  Will women forever be seen as easy marks by the mechanics and technician types of the world? *pauses to hum “We Shall Overcome*
JerzeeChick

Old School

We are approaching the 20th Anniversary of Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing movie release.  According to Essence Magazine, this movie put Brooklyn on the map.  Not sure about that, but flashing back to the summer of 1989 made me nostalgic. In an effort to ride that nostalgia wave, this past Saturday I went to an “Old School” party.  I learned several things at this event, the first being:  Old School is definitely a relative term.  What is Old School to a recent college graduate is definitely not that same as what someone that matriculated in the mid-90’s would consider Old School.  I also learned that the older men are, the less intimidated they are by height!  Another fun fact: the older you are, the more inclined you might be to pull out outfits from your Old School era.  Yes Epiphanyblog I saw a sequined beret circa 1976 at that party.

It was a fun night though.  I enjoyed watching the songs that really got people on the floor.  Frankie Beverly & Maze (Before I Let Go), was a definite crowd favorite.  The Michael Jackson run was fabulous and this song in particular made everyone happy.

Old School music seems to bring out the lighter side in most people too.  In an effort to keep it light this week, I pulled out some of my favorite Old School videos for your viewing pleasure.

Madonna is timeless.  She still dances like a twenty year old and every time I hear this song I want to strike a pose.

When I was at the party on Saturday, a group of girls grown women actually reenacted the dance sequence to the below video.  Now I was/am a New Edition fan, but not sure if I would be doing the moves in a ballroom at the Sheraton Hotel.  Sidebar: YouTube would not allow me to post the original video, so I had to settle for this live version.  If you want to look up the old video for yourself, please take a look at Ralph Tresvant in the stirrups — LOL!

Since I am on the New Edition track, I figured I’d keep it going with this BBD video.  Imagine the humor/horror when two grown men had a “dance off” to this song on Saturday.  Normally you don’t see men dancing too much these days, but the Old School parties must stir something up inside them!

So back to the summer of 1989.  I had a bus pass, my own phone, and cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry were my only real responsibilities.  I had no concept of Corporate America Oppression, and no idea how much being a grown up would suck!  I was exempt from income taxes, and my summer job was FUN!

Old School is always COOL! I love it because it instantly transports me back to a time and place I almost forgot about.  Every now and then I do a blog like this and we share our stories and laugh about our bad hairstyles and acid washed jean suits. Even though we are all grown up with lives and families and jobs and tax obligations…we enjoy the trip down memory lane.  Tell me Epiphanyblog,  why do you love Old School?

JerzeeChick

A Supreme Decision

I will never be a Supreme Court Justice.  Of course there is the obvious issue of me not being a lawyer, but also I’d never survive the confirmation process.  No, there are no life altering skeletons in my closet, but my attitude is not one that would allow me to sit by and defend everything I’ve done, publically and privately, in my lifetime.  I have no desire to go through that scrutiny.  Do I really need them parading around transcripts of conversations I had when I was twenty-three?  At the end of the day should anyone really care how many personal copies I made at work or how many two-hour lunches I took in my career?

As we gear up to watch the confirmation broo-ha-ha that will surround Sonia Sotomayor, I’m wondering what’s it all for?  Yes, we need to make sure she’s qualified, but a judge is a judge is a judge.  You don’t rise in the ranks of the Appellate Courts if you’re taking kick backs or drinking on the job.  In Corporate America you can rise to CEO status all the while embezzling funds, smoking crack on conference calls and sleeping with your subordinates in the break room…in the court of appeals, not so much!  I wonder if she were an old fogey (translation: conservative white man) would the Limbaugh’s and Hannity’s of the world be so quick to rally against her.

If she were not competent she never would have been confirmed as a federal judge.  We know this is not about competence.  When a President nominates a candidate for the Supreme Court he does so knowing that if confirmed, this person will probably sit on the bench for many years, and the decisions they rule on will always reflect back on him, long after his presidency ends.  A president won’t knowingly nominate a candidate he knows is going to try to interpret the constitution in a way that directly contradicts his own views.  Let’s be honest, would you hire a Voodoo priestess to babysit your kids if you were a devout Christian? While no President can guarantee how a justice will vote, you look at their past rulings and take a leap of faith that they won’t shock and disappoint. The issue of remarks she made in the past that have the conservative talk radio nit-wits calling her a racist will hopefully blow over.  If it doesn’t and she steps down, I’m sure the next candidate President Obama nominates will undergo the same scrutiny.

At the end of the day Democrats have the numbers, so they can and will approve President Obama’s nominee.  Republican’s have to walk a fine line because while they would love a conservative anti-abortion, anti-affirmative action, anti gay rights justice, they can’t very well say that out loud.

As we have just seen our nations first Black President give us a guided tour of the White House, shouldn’t we also be ready to see a Latina Woman wearing that black robe?
JerzeeChick

I LOVE THIS GAME!!!

What do I love more; Fantasy Football, March Madness, or The NBA Playoffs?  That is almost like asking a mother to pick her favorite kid.  We know she has a favorite, but she’ll front like she loves them all equally ☺  Seriously though, professional basketball is my first love.  When I was a kid I would sit up watching playoff games with my dad.  My mom would be asleep, but my dad and I would be up watching Magic and Kareem get it done!  I loathed and despised Larry Bird and the Celtics.  Had no love for Isaiah Thomas in his booty shorts back when he played with the bad boys in Detroit.  Still not a fan of Isaiah, but that is another blog for another day.

I am going to put it out there now, I want a Kobe vs. LeBron finals.  And if you’re wondering, my dad is going for Lebron and I’m going for Kobe. Sorry, but I don’t believe in the Orlando Magic.  Yes, I think Carmelo can be amazing, but I’m hoping Gasol and Kobe get it together (well actually Gasol and Kobe aren’t the problem.  I’m gonna need Odom and Bynum to play like they want to win)!

As I watch LeBron play, I must admit I am often amazed.  The last second three-pointer…how often do we see a play like that in the playoffs?  I’m loving these playoffs because every team is playing to win.  The officiating is a bit bootleg, but what can you do!

The Lakers were the favorite to go to the finals, as were the Cavs.  Now both teams are getting a run for their money and it looks like it might not happen that way.  Maybe the Cavs can win the next three to make it to the Finals, and maybe Phil Jackson will be able to motivate Bynum and Odom enough to make them relevant in the next few games.  However it works out, I’m pleased with the level of intensity of this year’s playoffs.  I especially liked the intensity of the Celtics-Magic series.  When Rafer Alston slapped Eddie House in the back of the head, I cracked up!  Nothing like seeing a grown man get mushed in the head to brighten your day.

I am also pleased with this year’s batch of commercials.  I like the “Where Will Amazing Happen” flashback commercials, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Kobe and Lebron as muppets series.  Nike really outdid themselves.  Muppet LeBron with all that chalk.. HILARIOUS!!!!!

Having said all that, there is one thing about these playoffs I could definitely do without.  When I tell you Mark Jackson is the most annoying NBA commentator since the talking horse (AKA Bill Walton).  I just wish he would tattoo “I wanna be a coach” on his forehead and call it a day.  His voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me at this point.  I can take the bad officiating and missed calls all day and all night over Mark Jackson’s self-important pontificating!  He makes me sick.  I pray when the Lakers/Nuggets series ends, so does Mark Jackson’s commentary.

So to all my NBA loving Epiphanybloggers out there…what are you feeling about these playoffs.  The good, the bad, and the ugly…I want to hear it!
JerzeeChick

Cook Out 101

I love a good cookout.  Even though I don’t eat meat, there is something about the smell of food cooked on the grill that makes me smile.  It’s Memorial Day Weekend, which marks the official beginning of cookout season.  In honor of that I thought we should all come together to discuss proper cookout etiquette.  While I know we at Epiphanyblog know better…some people might need to be schooled!

1.    Peeing in the pool is so 80’s.  I think they have special chlorine that will expose you, so please spare yourself the embarrassment (and everyone else the repulsion), and exit the pool when nature calls!
2.      Know when to say when.  The drunk person at the cookout is always good for a few laughs, but do you really want it to be you?
3.    No one likes a pig.  Most cookouts are “all you can eat”, but don’t try to out eat everyone in attendance.  The host expects there to be enough food to go around, so don’t ruin it for the latecomers.
4.    And speaking of latecomers….cookouts usually start in the mid afternoon.  Don’t show up at 10pm and expect them to re-light the grill for you.
5.    Even though most people will tell you it’s not necessary, you should at least offer to bring something.  Even if it’s only a bag of ice, try not to show up empty handed.
6.    Supply and demand is an integral part of being a good cookout guest.  If your discerning palette demands a certain kind of beer…supply it yourself!
7.    It should go without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway.  Clean up after yourself.  You’re eating off of paper plates, so is it that hard to throw them away?  You don’t have to help with the dishes, but throw your chicken bones and dirty napkins away!
8.    Nothing annoys me more than kids running wild at a cookout, especially when the kids in question are guests.  Your hostess is not also running a day camp.   Keep your eye on your own kids!
9.    If you offer to make your “world famous” whatever whatever, bring enough for everyone.  I’m not saying you should provide a ten gallon vat of baked beans or seafood salad, but I’m guessing a small 8 ounce portion won’t be enough.
10.    …what am I forgetting???  Please free to fill in this blank!

JerzeeChick

Let The Boycott Begin!!!

Back in April it was announced that Arizona State University would not bestow upon President Barack Obama an honorary degree.  (I’m sure President Obama didn’t lose too much sleep over it seeing as he’s already earned a degree from Harvard.)  There was a social uproar of course.  People were shocked that the school deemed him suitable to deliver the commencement address, but not suitable to receive an honorary degree.  *rolling eyes now* Now I’m a die hard Obama Mama, so maybe I’m biased, but I’m just saying….

The powers that be at Arizona State University had the nerve, the audacity, the unmitigated gall to actually say and I quote: honorary degrees are given “for an achievement of eminence” and Obama was not considered for an honorary degree because his body of achievements, at this time, does not fit within that criteria. WHAT?!?!?!  The man wrote how many best-sellers?  His campaign efforts registered how many new voters?  I am not even going to mention the part about him being the first Black President of the United States (because to me that is just far too obvious)!

In an effort to save face, the University instead created a scholarship in President Obama’s name, with the first recipients being announced in conjunction with this year’s commencement.  President Obama is a humble man, so I’m sure he is not tripping over their little funky honorary degree anyway.  I’m sure he is much happier knowing deserving students will be able to attend college because of this scholarship created in his honor.  That’s good for him, but I’m not so easily swayed!

In honor (or dis-honor) of ASU, I shall boycott all things Arizona and ask that you join me.  Let me first shout out my friend Fiona, as she brought this travesty to my attention, and together we hope to “shut it down” in Arizona!

•    Arizona Iced Tea, I’m through with it!  I’d rather drink a tall glass of dirty dish- water, thank you very much.
•    Sorry Amare Stoudemire.  You got game and all, but I can no longer cheer for you or the Phoenix Suns.
•    Sorry Larry Fitzgerald, but I will no longer be considering you for my Fantasy Football team.  I know you had a good run this year, but unless the Arizona Cardinals trade you, I’m not interested!
•    No Grand Canyon tour for me!

I’m not saying being the commencement speaker automatically entitles you to an honorary degree, but this is President Barack Obama after all.  If Yale gave George W. Bush an honorary degree ASU should not only have given President Obama an honorary degree, but they need to be naming a dorm and a library after him.  I wonder how much of this is sour grapes on ASU’s part because President Obama decimated McShame? The whole thing reeks of some sort of Republican/ Red State set up.  It’s all good though, because the boycott is on! Who’s with me???
JerzeeChick

Lessons Learned

This week is my birthday Mardi Gras!  No big party this year, but I am doing something fun everyday in honor of my “born day”.  I’ve also decided to use this week’s blog to highlight the most important lessons I’ve learned in my lifetime!

1.    Laughter is the best medicine!  I’ve learned to laugh at myself…often.  I don’t take myself too seriously, and laughing is the best way to keep from crying.

2.    Into each life a little rain will fall! Last year felt a bit like a monsoon, but I survived which is a good thing.  If I never felt the rain, I wouldn’t be able to properly appreciate the sunny days.

3.    Friendship is essential to the soul! I learned that lesson in college, but it still holds true today!

4.    Respect must be demanded and earned!  I have learned people will walk all over you if you let them.  I’ve also learned that people don’t get a pass simply because they ask for one.

5.    Make every minute count!  Time is the one thing we waste that can never be recouped.  I treasure time with friends and loved ones, and do what I can to  make the most of every day.

6.    Good things may come to those who wait…but they are only the scraps left behind by those that hustle!  Translation: I gotta get my hustle on!

7.    Seasons change, and so do people. Everyone isn’t meant to be in your life forever.

8.    Coincidence is a word used by people that lack faith.  I’ve learned everything happens for a reason.

9.    You get what you pay for.  Be it customer service or quality of merchandise, it will always come down to how much you pay for it.  The cashiers in Walmart don’t hold a candle to the “sales associates” in Saks, and the food in Applebees can’t touch the food at The Palm!

10.    People will get on your LAST NERVE…if you let them!  I’ve learned to hang up the phone, delete the emails, and walk away from the nonsense.  No reason to let the foolishness and bi-polar antics of other people get my pressure up!

There is one other lesson that I’ve learned that is even more important than everything else I mentioned.  GOD IS GOOD!!!!  His Grace and Mercy has sustained me, and I know I am blessed to be celebrating my 35th year!  Peace and love to all.
JerzeeChick

Report Card Day!

Most colleges don’t bother to look at the grades from your first report card as a high school freshman.  When measuring your potential for college success your first couple of months as a high school student don’t hold much weight.  In politics however, we tend to put a lot of weight on the Commander-in-Chief’s first 100 days in office.

If we look at past presidency’s we see a good “First 100 Days” won’t necessarily mean a good presidency, and a bad “First 100 Days” won’t necessarily signal a doomed presidency.  In the case of President Obama, will his First 100 Days be an accurate measure of what the rest of his presidency will hold?

In most classes we start with no grade.  On the first day of school, every student can work toward an A or do nothing and collect a bunch of zero’s.  You don’t start with an F, and have to work your way toward a passing grade.  Unfortunately President Obama inherited an F, and the whole world was watching to see if he could work up to an A in 100 days.

In my opinion, the way he got at those Somali pirates  was worth bumping up a full grade.  So if we agree he came in with a grade of F, the rescue mission gave him a D!

The auto bail out is a tricky situation.  He can keep pouring money into the industry, knowing it’s tantamount to throwing good money after bad, or he can force them to make aggressive changes in hopes that it will turn around.  Treading lightly now and forcing the big three to act wisely is worth another 5 points in my book.

If anyone has looked at their paycheck lately, they should see a few extra dollars.  Even though it might not be a lot of money, getting a stimulus plan approved would have taken months of wrangling in congress, but reducing my tax burden was a quick and dirty way to put a little extra cash in my pocket right now.  I think that was worth another 7 points.

President Obama has already begun to reach out to foreign countries and even opened dialogue with our so-called enemies.  We are no longer seen as the bullies on the block, but rather a super power willing to listen and use diplomacy when possible.  Republicans on the campaign trail said Obama was a novice and would fail miserably with foreign policy.  All told I give him 10 points, because he is making it happen!

With regards to the economy, there is still a long way to go, but I think we are on the right track.  We are much better off after 100 days than we would have been if McShame and Sara Who had won in November.  It might be years before the damage of the Bush years can be undone, but I think President Obama has earned 8 more points here!

So let’s do the math.  President Obama walked into the White House on January 20th with a failing grade.
•    His handling of the Somali pirates bumped him up to a solid “D”, 60 points.
•    He got another five points for his handling of the Auto Crisis, so that would give him a 65 (still a D).
•    The tax cut that benefits people in my tax bracket moved him up to a 72 (C-).
•    The diplomacy he’s exhibited and his failure to further alienate our friends and foes garnered him ten points and a B!
Add to that the overall strides he’s made with the economy and President Obama has a grade of 90, a solid A-!  I am proud of our President.  I think his first marking period was a huge success, and if this were high school he’d be collecting ten-dollar bills from all his aunties.  I’ve handed out my grades, what are yours?
JerzeeChick

The Millennium Gooch

If you were a fan of Different Strokes in the 80’s you might remember The Gooch.  He was the bully that tormented Arnold and other kids on the playground.  In the Flava In Ya Ear remix, Notorious B.I.G. referred to him as an “invisible bully”,  because we never actually saw him on screen.  The Gooch kept Arnold “shook”, and many of us could probably relate to him back then because there was a similar bully on our own playgrounds.  We grew up in a different time, and the bully situation was nothing compared to how it goes down on playgrounds today.  Not that there is ever an excuse to be bullied, but back then kids weren’t hanging themselves with belts because they were tired of being teased and beat up!

Last week an eleven-year-old boy, Jaheem Herrera, hanged himself because he was tired of being the victim of school bullies.  Can you imagine the horror he must have dealt with on a daily basis at the hands of his peers.  How bad must it be if an eleven-year-old boy is forced to take his own life to escape the foolishness?

Of course when I first saw this new story I wanted to know where were the teachers and where were the administrators.  I don’t have children but I know if I had even the smallest inkling that my child was being bullied I would be up in that school turning it out IMMEDIATELY!!!!!  According to the news reports, Jaheem had reported the bullying to his teacher but nothing was done.  His mom and sister were aware of some of the issues, but had no idea how bad the situation had gotten.  There is nothing you can tell me that would make me believe the schools administrators didn’t know exactly what was going on.  I’m sure they have a disciplinary file  six inches thick on each of little Jaheem’s tormentors, but never did the appropriate follow though that might have saved Jaheem’s life.  I am not blaming the teachers per say, but how can a little boy get picked on daily and not one teacher be aware of it.

We all tell our children to come to us with any and everything, and we hope that they will tell us or another adult when they are in trouble or being threatened.  Is that enough?  When I was in school we walked or caught the city bus, so you could avoid a bully if you had to.  In Atlanta most kids take the school bus, so I’m sure the bully action starts popping before they even reach school property and continues until they get home at night.

Some men think being bullied is a right of passage, and tell their sons not to be punks.  Maybe in the 70’s and 80’s that logic might float, but kids are killing each other over sneakers and silly glances so I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s not being a punk when you’re trying to save a life.  On the flip side, what kinds of parents raise a bully?  How does your child going from sharing his snack to giving smaller kids the smack down?  What is the next step after playground bully, campus rapist? Who do we blame: the bully that picks on kids, the parents of the bully, or the teachers that allow bullies to stay in school?  Who should be ultimately responsible for the bully situation in our schools?
JerzeeChick

Spare Me The Tea Party Crap!

A few days ago I started seeing posters around Atlanta about Tea Party’s on tax day.  Now I love my Teavana fix whenever I can get it, so I was a little intrigued.  I did some checking and found out there would be protests around the country against the government’s “reckless” use of taxpayer money.  Supposedly President Obama is taking all our hard earned money and running up a huge deficit.  Um…excuse me but why weren’t there any raised pinky tea parties for the past eight tax days?  I’m just saying, is it me or didn’t we have a surplus when Clinton was in office?  Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the deficit begin to climb when “W” got elected?  Having said that, shouldn’t there have been a tea party every year since like 2001?

The Republicans and Conservatives, and all around Obama-Haters are once again grasping at straws.  Unfortunately there are too many crazy uninformed people out there jumping on the bandwagon.  If this were truly about taxes only, this would have been an annual event since forever!  Taxes didn’t just begin in 2009.  Further, majority of the people out there protesting are benefiting from the Obama tax cuts, so they need to get a grip! While I’d love to do away with FICA and taxes in general, it’s just not a reality.  I’d also like to do away with rush hour traffic and over-priced cable, but again it’s just not a reality.

People complain that the rich pay too much in taxes.  Most of the people making this argument are poor or middle class. While the idea of people getting a free pass on their mortgages while I pay mine on time every month kinda burns me up….seventeen foreclosed houses on my block won’t help me sell my house either so let the government do whatever it takes to turn this housing market around so I can move! Blame the banks for giving mortgages to people with bootleg paystubs and bad credit.  The government didn’t get us into this mess, but they are trying to turn it around.

I had to laugh at the coverage of some of these events.  People actually held signs and made speeches about irresponsible government spending.  Where were they when Bush and Cheney were pumping all our tax dollars into Iraq?  Someone said President Obama has done more damage in 100 days that anyone else has done in the last 100 years.  Again, where were these people when George Bush was running up the deficit that President Obama inherited?

In the spirit of keeping it real, I’d like to know where you stand on the subject of taxes?  No one likes them I’m sure, but is anyone out there on board for this tea party crap?  Am I the only one that thinks this is just another attempt to throw salt on President Obama?
JerzeeChick

Fashion Weak?

First of all let me clarify…the title of this weeks blog is not a typo.  Having said that I shall begin.  There will always be people that think they know what looks best on everyone.  There will always be someone that doesn’t like your choice of sweater or skirt.  We wear what we like, and what we think looks best and fits our own sense of style.  All that being true, why does everyone think they have to weigh in on First Lady Michelle Obama’s wardrobe? Obviously she must be doing something right because she has singlehandedly put J Crew back on the map.

When she went sleeveless, people complained.  I’m gonna chalk that one up to flabby armed haters because if I had Michelle Obama’s arms people would be sick of me!  While I may not personally go out and buy everything I see her wearing, I’m gonna need people to leave my First Lady alone.  Her style is not the typical hum-drum boxy look you normally see on First Lady’s, but it’s HER STYLE.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but did First Lady Michelle Obama ever brag about her wardrobe or sense of fashion?  Did she ever come out and try to criticize any other women for their choice of old lady gown and pearls?  Let’s put this in the proper prospective.  Prior to becoming First Lady, Michelle Obama was a working mother.  She probably dressed in outfits that were suitable for a mother and hospital administrator, not the red carpet.  Now that all eyes are on her, she is not going to go buck wild for couture!  She’s still wearing sensible chic pieces that compliment her shape, and are event appropriate.

We all might take a fashion risk every now and then, but do we get vilified for it?  There are so many other things going on in the world and we should focus more attention on her work as a First Lady, and less attention on her wardrobe.   She keeps those girls looking cute and she’s not wearing high-waters or a do-rag, so get over it!
JerzeeChick

Not Yet 100…

Political pundits are all over President Obama.  Some are saying he’s not fulfilling his campaign promises.  Some are saying he’s being too bipartisan and too inclusive of Republican ideas.  He’s been in office for what, 75 days?  The presidential term is about 1461 days (assuming one leap year), which means President Obama is only about 5% or so into his job.  How much did we realistically expect the man to accomplish this quickly.  The average administrative assistant or project manager is still in the probationary period at 75 days!

Granted the President of the United States is not the kind of job that you can pooh pooh your way through and blame lack of training for a lack of competency, but of course that is not the case with President Obama.  He hit the ground running, and is making amazing strides.  Some people still aren’t satisfied.

We all agree that President Obama inherited this deficit, and is doing the best he can to make decisions that will ultimately benefit American people.  For some, that’s just not good enough.  They wanted him to come out swinging and they wanted this to be the land of milk and honey by now.  Welcome to reality.

The reality is, as a Black man, President Obama has to walk a fine line.  He can’t get too publicly agitated, as we don’t want him stereotyped as the angry black man.  I’m also wondering about the people that say he’s too bipartisan.  I agree, you can’t make everyone happy, and ultimately he has to be true to Democrats, but he did say this was not a country of Red States and Blue States, but rather the United States.  To that end he has to try to include ideas of both parties.  As we’ve seen with the past couple of votes, the Democrats are in control, so they get what they want, but can’t we all at least try to get along.  I feel like people are disappointed that he is not running through the Halls of Congress acting like Chuck D or Ice Cube.

Some are also a little disappointed because he’s not entertaining the idea of legalizing marijuana in an effort to decrease the deficit.  Epiphany, what do you think about legalizing weed?  All I’m going to say is, y’all can get over it because there is NO WAY a black man is going to legalize weed.  NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!  Are you kidding me, those talk radio snooty pants would have a field day with that one.  I could hear Rush Limbaugh now: “first marijuana, next crack, …get that pimp out of the white house by any means necessary!”

The smokers are taking a hit thanks to the bill President Obama signed that raises cigarette prices.  I think now a pack of cigarettes in Jersey is up to almost $10.  If that is not incentive enough to quit, I don’t know what is!  Smokers feel they are being unfairly picked on, but this tax increase pays for the first part of President Obama’s healthcare plan.  To me, as a non-smoker, it’s a win.

At the end of the day, we wanted to see change, and we are seeing it.  Maybe not as quickly as some would like, but slow and steady wins the race.  I don’t know why people put so much emphasis on the first one hundred days, but President Obama is being watched and polled on every move.    He’s polling well, but they never ask anyone I know to participate in this poll so here’s your chance to weigh in.  How do YOU think President Barack Obama is doing in his first 100 Days?
JerzeeChick

The Stanky Leg

As if I didn’t already think Wal-Mart was the root of all evil, I am totally convinced now!  I agreed to do a friend a favor before I realized it would require going to my local Wal-Mart.  It was too late to weasel out of it, so off to Wal-Mart I went.  I thought I was mentally prepared for the tomfoolery that was bound to ensue, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would witness a spectacle such as a Stanky Leg “dance off” in the vestibule!

I am not sure if this god-awful “Stanky Leg” song has infiltrated everyone’s airwaves yet, but if it has not…count your blessings.  The song is horrible, and the dance is even worse.  It is basically a stripper recruitment theme song.  Granted dance songs are usually kind of lame with their lyrical content, but that is not my issue with this particular song.  As previously stated, it is the soundtrack for all aspiring pole dancers, and therein lies my issue!

So I am walking into Wal-Mart and there is a group of teens standing in the doorway listening to music.  My first thought was, “why are they blasting the music from their boom box in the Wal-Mart”, but then again it’s Wal-Mart and apparently anything goes.  My next thought was “Oh God not this mess”, once I realized it was that Stanky Leg song.  The two girls were apparently doing their best Stanky Leg while their three male friends looked on and captured the festivities on their camera phones.  What is this world coming to when teenage girls can record their stripper audition video’s in the Wal-Mart vestibule?!?!?!

I was very repulsed!  These girls were maybe sixteen, and found it socially acceptable to dip and gyrate in that manner.  I don’t have daughters, but I have cousins and the thought of any of them doing this nonsense really annoyed me.  I kept it moving and successfully resisted the urge to snatch one of those little girls up. As I stood on line in customer service I thought back to the kinds of dances I thought were okay to do in public when I was a teenager.  Nothing we did in the eighties can compare to the Stanky Leg.  Granted at the basement parties there might have been some slow dragging, bumping and grinding going on….but not in the Wal-Mart vestibule.

What has this world come to?   Am I the only person thoroughly repulsed by the spectacle that is the Stanky Leg,?  I must admit I was surprised by the number of grown women I recently saw in the club doing the dance.  Grown people have a right to do whatever they want, but for every teen girl doing the Stanky Leg, is there a stripper pole and pair of clear heels in her future?

The song sucks, there is no question about that, but the kids are doing it. In Jersey we used to have a commercial “It’s 6 o’clock do you know where your child is”. My question this week Epiphanyblog…is YOUR child doing the Stanky Leg?  Are you sure?
JerzeeChick

AIG = Arrogance Incompetence and Greed!

By now everyone should have heard about the drama surrounding the bonuses distributed by AIG.  In short, the company that received billions in government bailout money recently turned around and awarded millions to their executives in the form of “retention bonuses”.  Why they would be trying to retain these idiots is beyond me, but I digress…

The bonuses were supposedly promised in early 2008, long before the company fell apart.  Even so, I would think that the company actually falling apart would be just cause to award no bonuses.  I remember working for a company that stopped awarding annual increases and instead went to a bonus structure that would give you up to 10% of your annual salary.  While it might sound like a better deal to receive the bonus, you wouldn’t believe the creative ways they finagled us out of our money year after year!  The bonus structure was so convoluted you needed an MBA just to figure out what you were entitled to.  They weighted the bonus based on how much profit the company made, how much free coffee we drank, and a bunch of other crap that was out of our control.    When it was all said and done you were lucky to walk away with 3%.

AIG is in ruins, but managed to pay out bonuses ranging from $1000 to 6.5 million dollars to its top executives.  I’m sorry but how does a company on public assistance garner the nerve to give anyone a bonus of 6.5 million dollars?  That’s like a person going into The Palm and trying to pay for their lobster with food stamps.  I’m just saying….did they really think this would fly?

Everyone is pointing the finger of blame.  Many say tougher restrictions should have been placed on what the companies could do with the money they received as part of the bailout.  I think I’m inclined to agree with that.  You can’t waste food stamp money on Gucci and Prada so yeah the government should be able to curb the handing out of bonus checks with taxpayer money.

Congress wants the names of every person that received a payout, but the current CEO is hesitant to give out that information.  Apparently people have been sending death threats to AIG.  It’s not “ha-ha” funny, but it’s a little ironic funny.  Taxpayers are not playing about these bailout funds!  Somebody sent a message to an AIG employee that said: all bonus recipients should be executed with piano wire around their necks.  Ouch!

So Epiphanyblog, what is your take on all this?  Some of the recipients of the money have been asked to return a portion of their payouts.  Anyone that received more than 100K got the call to pay back some of their bonus.  If it were you, would you give it back?  The people that got the small money, are probably lower level employees who bore no influence on the direction the company took, but consequently the good should suffer with the bad.  When the company is in the toilet, everyone from the receptionists to the VP’s should expect all bonuses to be placed on hold.  Having said that, should all AIG employees return the money, or only the big dogs?
JerzeeChick

March Madness

The person that penned the lyrics “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” obviously new nothing about March Madness!  It’s that time of year again, and I am elated.  Selection Sunday is right around the corner, and then I shall commence to juggling my brackets and obsessing over the Final Four.  I’ll stay up until I am almost drunk from exhaustion, and plan my weekends around college basketball.  Games that come down to the final seconds are more exciting than the Ali-Frazier Thrilla in Manila (yes, I was a boxing fan as a little girl and I have a pic with Muhammad Ali to prove it)!  I repeat, this is truly the most wonderful time of the year.

My love of college basketball began in high school.  My 10th grade English teacher offered us extra credit for correctly picking teams…and it was on.  Back then Georgetown was the favorite, but I was big into the UNLV Running Rebels.  In the end, Michigan (a number three seed) beat out Seton Hall (a number three seed) in an overtime thriller.   I have been following the road to the Final Four ever since!  A few years ago I organized a team building exercise in a local sports bar to watch the opening Thursday afternoon game instead of working.

I am not ashamed to admit that I probably go overboard with March Madness, but it’s kind of hard not to.  First of all, you gotta love the athleticism.  These kids play hard all year and it is the ultimate WIN OR GO HOME scenario.  In professional sports, the athletes know there is always next year, but nothing is ever guaranteed in College Sports.  No matter how well you might have played in your conference, there is always a team that could be stronger, better, and faster than you.  A coaching shake up might keep you out of contention next year, or better yet the lack of a coaching shake up (as is the case with Gary Williams and UMCP), might keep you out of the Final Four for seven years!

Then there is the Cinderella aspect.  The bigger, stronger more popular team (i.e. ugly stepsisters) will lose to the homely, shy, unheard of team (i.e. Cinderella). There will always be an upset.  A number five seed will lose to a number twelve seed in the first round.  A number one seed won’t make it past the Sweet Sixteen.  Technical fouls will send a game into overtime…the list goes on and on.  How can you not get hooked to this?!?!?!

At this very moment I am mulling over my potential selections.  I am not a fan of Wake Forest, but I loath and despise Duke University.  My hatred of Duke goes back to high school.  Back then we had a rival school, Saint Anthony’s, that would beat us to death in Boys Basketball.  Bobby Hurley was their star player and he went on to become a star at Duke.  Now every year I root for UMCP and whoever is playing Duke.

So Epiphanyblog, who’ll be traveling that road to the Final Four with me?  Even though the brackets have not been decided yet, who do you think will win it all this year?
JerzeeChick

Pimp Wimp

I’m wondering, do I have the word “desperate” tattooed on my forehead?  Something must be tattooed up there because I swear I am a magnet for the cheesiest of pick up lines.  If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you remember the story about the guy and the “drinking the bathwater” comment.  There was also the guy that decided to call me “Number 8” because of the Obama ’08 T-shirt.  As tragically funny as those incidents were, I’ve found that I get the cheesiest lines in response to the “I don’t eat meat” statement.

Maybe I must look like someone that eats meat.  Maybe the surplus of wing spots and chitterling selling venues in Atlanta makes it impossible to believe that anyone could voluntarily avoid meat.  Whatever the reason, I get the most cheesy commentary when I say I don’t eat meat.  A few days ago I was in the supermarket and Mayor McCheese asked which barbeque sauce I thought was best.  I told him I didn’t eat meat.  He was shocked and asked if I ate chicken, and I told him no.  He then proceeded to ask me, and I quote: “DO YOU EAT SCRIMPS AND STUFF LIKE THAT”.

First of all, there is no “C” in the word shrimp, and second of all shrimp is both singular and plural so there is no “S” on the end of that word.  I didn’t give him the much needed phonics lesson; I just smiled and shook my head “no” as I walked away.  I managed to contain my laughter as I asked myself:  Lord, why did the man ask me if I ate scrimps?

I thought it couldn’t get any better than that, but low and behold, I ran into someone today that really took the cake.  In Atlanta there are a plethora of soul food restaurants.  Most of them proudly proclaim they sell chitterlings year round, so that gives you an idea of the clientele.  Today, as I waited to order my veggie plate a reject from some 1979 pimp convention sidled up to me.
Pimp Wimp:  So I hear the ribs here are saying something.
JerzeeChick:    I wouldn’t know.  I don’t eat meat.
Pimp Wimp proceeds to look me up and down.
Pimp Wimp: What you say?  I sho woulda neva guessed that one.

Pimp Wimp then rubs his belly.  I pull out my phone and pretend to have a conversation with my imaginary friend on the other end.  There is a five-minute wait for sweet potato’s, so I place my order and step aside to wait for my food.  I wasn’t paying attention and Pimp Wimp sidles up to me again as I sip my sweet tea.  This time he brings his “A-Game”! *NOT*
Pimp Wimp: I was thinkin’ brown skin.  You should let me take you out for a steak dinner.  I guarantee if you have a steak dinner with me, you’ll love meat.

I spit my sweet tea clear across the room.  I laugh hysterically and simply say “no thank you” as I move away from him expeditiously.  Not five seconds later, a woman walks in and grabs his arm.  She is wearing a patchwork leather jacket circa 1979 and gold rings on every finger.  A definite match made in heaven!  They called my number shortly thereafter, so I grabbed my food and left.  Why did Pimp Wimp have the nerve to wink at me as I passed him?

The entire exchange reminded me of all the cheesy lines I’ve heard in my lifetime…and I wondered WHY ME?!?!?!?!?  I searched for the below video, as he was full of bad pick-up lines.  Hopefully this little blast from the past will make you laugh and inspire you to share some of the worst pick up lines you’ve ever heard or used!
JerzeeChick

The Revolution

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  The revolution will not be televised….it will be on FACEBOOK!!!!  If you have not joined the Facebook Matrix, what are you waiting for?  Last night I watched President Obama deliver his State of the Union address.  As I listened to my President intently…I was “Facebooking”.  My Facebook friends and me commented on the speech and how we thought President Obama did.  We talked about how good First Lady Michelle looked, and how we are looking forward to the changes President Obama spoke of.

All totaled my Facebook experience yesterday was great.  It was fun to participate in the commentary with various people around the country about President Obama (cause y’all know I’m a die hard Obama Mama), but even more than that I got my scanner rocking yesterday and I started uploaded pictures from high school. *gasps*

To all the Facebookers out there, you know one of the highlights of Facebook is the pictures.  Even though I cringe every time I get the notification that someone tagged me in a photo, I too did a little uploading and tagging yesterday.  I pulled out the ICHS album, and commenced to strolling down memory lane.  As I looked at the old pics of my classmates and myself I felt like the Virginia Slims ad circa 1980…”you’ve come a long way baby”!  This blog is dedicated to those long ago friends that Facebook has helped me reconnect with.  Below is the list of the top ten ICHS memories that Facebook helped me revisit during my scanning escapade.

10.  The Sucky Faculty. Aside from Mr. Villablanca, most of the teachers sucked.  I remember having Mr. Young for Physical Science freshman year.  He was mean and had dandruff in his eyebrows. YUCK!

9.  We didn’t have a band. We had a boom box for pep rallies—LOL!

8. Hatim Salahuddin. We had a lot of memorable boys in our class.  One created his own dance, and another fell off the roof of a car at the bus stop.  Hatim was memorable for several reasons (pocket protectors and tie renting notwithstanding), but it was his “Ladies Love” song that stands out in my mind even to this day.

7.  The Bench. I didn’t spend “a lot” of time on the bench, but I did a “bid” every now and then.

6.  Sports. Even though we were a small school, we had a few really good athletes.  ICHS didn’t invest a lot of money in the cafeteria, but they believed in cultivating an athlete!

5.  Running for the 34/94. I live in Atlanta now, and all the kids catch a school bus.  The bus picks them up and drops them off pretty much in front of their homes, and it waits for them.  I WISH a bus driver would have waited for me when I was in High School!  I remember standing at the bus stop in that little blue skirt about to FREEZE as I waited for my bus.  Even with sweat pants on under the skirt, I was still cold.

4.  Fi’s Jams. Back when Essex Catholic parties were few and far between, Fiona threw a mean party.

3. Senior Traditions. Wearing any color sweater I wanted was cool, and half day Fridays were even better. Mostly, I remember the infamous egg-throwing debacle of 1991.  Not sure of the statute of limitations on vandalism, so I won’t say any more about that!

2.  PSAT Day Junior Year. Again, I’ll just leave it at that, because I don’t want to drop any dimes!

1.  Segregated Sections. Freshman year we had 5 Sections (A-B-C1-C2-D).  I started in 9C1, so I guess I was of middle ground intelligence.  I got moved to section 9B, So I wasn’t quite smart enough to be in 9A, but I was smarter than the C1 kids?!?!?!  What kind of crap is that?  Our parents should have protested!

Majority of the people reading this blog probably can’t relate to my little top ten, but hopefully it will inspire you to reconnect with your high school friends and maybe create your own top ten.  Gone are the days of reading the obituary pages to keep up with the people you went to school with.  Even if you’ve relocated, Facebook makes you feel like you still live around the way.  I implore you all to join the Facebook nation, because the revolution will not be televised!
JerzeeChick

REACHING!!!

So all day yesterday I was wondering what I should blog about, and then a gift was dropped in my lap today by way of the New York Post.  By now you have all heard that President Obama has signed the Economic Stimulus Bill.  As was to be expected he’s getting heat because the bill was passed will minimal support from Republicans.   Some are saying President Obama was elected because of his promises to foster bipartisanship blah blah blah.  Here is what I think about bipartisanship…in theory it’s a good thing.  It’s like that Coke commercial “…I’d like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love.  Grow apple trees and honey bees, and snow white turtle doves.”  In theory it’s a cute concept, but later for furnishing someone else’s house, I want to furnish my own.  And you can keep the apple trees and turtle doves…send me my stimulus check!

All the politicians meow meowing about bipartisanship need to get over it.  There comes a point in every President’s career that he has to make a definitive decision to do what is best for the people that elected him and worry about soothing the ruffled feathers of bipartisanship later.  The people that elected President Obama needed a bill passed.  While I’d love to debate the finer points of this Stimulus Bill and how it might impact middle class people like me, that is not the purpose of this weeks blog (sidebar: if you are a first time homebuyer or in the market for a new car, the Stimulus Package has a hook up for you ☺ !!!)

Okay so here is the background story that feeds into the New York Post broo-ha-ha.  A woman in Connecticut kept a giant chimp as a pet.  The chimp went crazy a couple of days ago and attacked the woman’s friend.  Police ended up shooting and killing the chimp because they could not gain control of the situation, and I believe the woman’s friend was critically injured.  Late night stand up routines had a field day with the story, as apparently the woman treated this animal as her child, and this was not the first time he had run-a-muck in the town.

The New York Post took a different approach.  They featured a cartoon in the paper and on their website today that showed two cops and a dead chimp.  One cop is holding a smoking gun towards the chimp and the caption reads: “They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.”  Needless to say people are up in arms as this cartoon seems to paint a not so flattering picture of President Obama.  At best it is mocking his stimulus bill as something so bad a chimp could have written it.  At worst it is insinuating that in some way President Obama and a dead chimp have a lot in common.  Things that make you go hmmm….

We can all agree the cartoon was in poor taste.  It’s like someone drawing a parody of a rape victim…you just don’t do it! Al Sharpton was Johnny on the spot demanding an apology, but The New York Post had this to say: The cartoon is a clear parody of a current event, to wit the shooting of a violent chimpanzee in Connecticut.  It broadly mocks Washington’s efforts to revive the economy.  Again Al Sharpton reveals himself as nothing more than a publicity opportunist.  I am no huge Sharpton fan, but I don’t think this constitutes “publicity opportunism”.  Certain things common sense should just tell you not to do, and obviously there is a little common sense missing on the New York Post editorial team.  Common sense should tell you not to make fun of or do any type of parody of abused children, victims of rape, or ANYTHING that might insinuate any type of relationship between Black men and apes/monkeys/chimps.

In my opinion, the statement by the Post is in a word: REACHING!  There is no cleaning it up, and they would have done better to just come out and say they made a joke in poor taste and offer profuse apologies.  Instead they chose to dig in their heel and stand behind a dangerous and reprehensible picture.  What’s your take on this Epiphanyblog?
JerzeeChick

Things You “Shouldn’t” Do…

Before I begin, let me give the obligatory disclaimer…there is NOTHING funny about domestic violence.  I tend to err on the side of sarcasm, but please don’t think I condone a woman getting senselessly pounded on by a man that should know better.  Now having said that heeeeeeeeere we go!!!!!

This whole “Chris Brown beats Rihanna” thing has been the talk of the radio/beauty shop/nail salon/break room since the story broke on Sunday.  The only thing we know for sure is that Chris had an altercation with a female, and charges were pressed.  Because the name of the victim has not been officially released, we are all going by the pics of a busted up Rihanna on the internet, and her quick exodus to Barbados as confirmation that she was the victim.

Let’s keep this in perspective; Chris Brown is a 19-year-old boy.  He is not morally superior and he is not above doing something stupid (i.e. beating on his girlfriend).  At the same time Rihanna is an attractive woman in a grown up relationship doing grown up things, and unfortunately she has experienced something too many women go through on a daily basis.  I feel sorry for her because physical harm inflicted on you by the person that claims to love you is a horrible feeling!  I hope parents will use this situation as a teaching opportunity.   Teach our young men that if you put your hands on a woman NO MATTER WHAT SHE DID, there will be hell to pay.  Also teach them no matter how cute she is, if that little firecracker can push your buttons enough to make you haul off and slap her, then SHE IS NOT THE WOMAN FOR YOU.  At the same time, we need to teach our daughters, HANDS ARE NOT FOR HITTING.  If he loses his temper and gets to wailing on you, get out of there quickly, and CALL THE POLICE.  Tend to you injuries first and foremost, and then call your brothers to go find him.  No one wins in an abusive relationship!

So as you read this blog and ponder your personal relationships, where do you stand on the issue of “a man should never hit a woman”? Again there is nothing funny about domestic violence, and I believe a man “should” never hit a woman, but I am also woman enough to admit that there are some things I could do that might possibly warrant getting “shaken” half to death.  There is a rumor going around that Rihanna “allegedly” gave Chris Brown herpes.  This is still alleged as neither camp has made an official statement, but lets run with it for a minute.  Men, would being told you just got the gift you could NEVER give back warrant you busting a chick in her eye.  Go ahead and tell the truth, because I am not going to judge!

Let’s say it wasn’t as extreme as that.  Let’s say you are having dinner at your girlfriends place.  She sneaks a peek at your cell phone while you are in the bathroom (sloppy pimping if you left it on the table, but I digress…), and finds a bunch of naked pics from another female on your phone.  The pics are dated so she knows you just got them two days ago.  When you return to the table she gets to clowning and spits a mouth full of food in your face.  What would you do???  She SPIT IN YOUR FACE, is there anything more disrespectful?  And while we are on the subject…Ladies, if you spit in a man’s face…or better yet keyed his mama’s car do you really expect to escape that situation with no bodily harm?

The bible says thou should not kill.  I agree, killing is something you shouldn’t do, but as Biggie said…there’s gonna be a lot of slow singing and flower bringing if my burglar alarm starts ringing!  There is a segment of the population, psychotic men, that need to beat on a woman to feel superior.  They deserve to have a pot of hot grits splashed on them. No woman should live in fear of a man that claims to love her.  For the purpose of this blog, I am not talking about the Ike Turner’s of the world.  I am not defending Chris Brown, nor am I vilifying Rihanna.  I just want us to take a moment and honestly ask ourselves if there is any circumstance that would warrant knocking a woman’s block off…or at least shaking one until her weave fell out!
JerzeeChick

Snitches Get Ditches…

By now most of you have heard about the Michael Phelps bong scandal of ’09.  Apparently he was at a party, and was photographed smoking weed out of a bong.  He subsequently released a statement about it being a youthful indiscretion blah blah blah.  Let me be clear, I could care less about his weed habit, and I am not about to pass judgment.  As an athlete, that is between him and his trainer (and those companies that are paying him millions in endorsement dollars).   My focus this week is on the circumstances that led to the Michael Phelps expose’…obviously somebody snitched!

If we are honest, we can admit (at least to ourselves), we’ve done at least one thing illegal (or morally reprehensible) at some point in our lives.  This action has probably never come to light to further embarrass us because it was done in the presence of friends.  See, when we are with our friends certain rules don’t apply.  We can be at ease around the homies because we don’t expect them to sell us out to the highest bidder.

When we are kids we learn nobody likes a tattletale, and as we grow up we develop a conscience and understand there are times when you need to open your mouth and times when you need to play dumb.  In the snitching code, would you or should you ever snitch on a friend? For me personally, I’m not going to willingly drop a dime unless it’s to save a child or save a life. Am I wrong?  What do I stand to gain from telling the manager at a local grocery store that I spotted someone in aisle nine stealing over-priced spices?  At the same time, is a ten thousand dollar come up a fair exchange for possibly ruining the life/career of a friend?  In this time of cell phone cameras and video chatting, it would be relatively easy to ensnarl someone in a major scandal (a la Michael Phelps), but would you do it?   To tell or not to tell, that is the question!

Ladies, if you saw your girlfriend’s husband hugged up with his secretary in a cozy corner of a restaurant, would you tell her?  Now what if you knew 100% beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would never leave him, and to add insult to injury you knew she would tell him you were the snitch (and thus have him hating you forever) would you tell?

Men, does the “playa” code exclude snitching…even when you can benefit?  If you met a female that you were very interested in, and you knew for a 100% fact that she shot you down simply because she was being faithful to a known cheater that spent all his money romancing strippers and chicken heads, would you tell?

Like I said, snitching to save a child or save a life should be a no brainer.  If you witnessed a serious crime would you tell?  Let’s say your life or safety was not in danger, and you would probably be preventing future crime by coming forward, would you tell?  As you watch the little excerpt below and reflect on your personal “snitch code”.  How gray is the line?  Do you always tell, or do you mind your business?  Would you want someone to snitch if it would benefit you, and how far would you go to protect someone’s privacy if their snitching helped you out?
JerzeeChick

Let There Be Dance!!!

Back in the day I loved Michael Jackson.  I had too many of those stupid buttons pinned on my jacket and I loved the poster of him in the yellow outfit!  So I’m sure you can imagine my uncontainable glee when I heard there was a “Thriller: The Musical” in the works.  How excited am I?!?!?! If you were a child in the 80’s you have to know what I’m talking about!  Here is my first question, why exactly were we so fascinated with Michael Jackson?  He pretty much put the Jherri Curl on the map, right?  Yes, Rick James may have had his curl first, but how many young kids were checking for Super Freak back in 1983?  We loved Michael Jackson.

I remember watching that video a billion times, and yes I memorized the choreography.  Don’t front, I know I am not the only person that was getting her zombie dance on!  In the spirit of honesty, how may of you wore a curl, moon-walked around the house, or could do the entire dance from MJ’s performance of Billie Jean on Motown 25?  Now we are working on the honor system here, but I know at least two people reading this blog had a curl, and I will call you out if you don’t confess!!!!

It breaks my heart that kids today only have the Souljah Boy, Laffy Taffy, and Pop Lock and Drop it videos to emulate.  Believe me, we won’t be seeing those on Broadway in 2024!  Why is it that kids don’t dance anymore?  The 2600 Atari and Commodore 64 could only hold your attention for so long, and then you had to break out in dance.  If you weren’t doing Michael Jackson moves you were probably somewhere perfecting your head spin for the next break dance competition.  Have the Wii and PlayStation ruined the good dance sequence forever?

Today I watched the video…just to see how much of the choreography I remembered.  While searching for it on YouTube, I found tons of Thriller remakes, the funniest of which is the inmates at the prison in the Philippines doing their version of the dance sequence.  While some considered the whole thing unethical, I found the entire display hilarious.  The world was obsessed with Thriller.   I am posting a few video links below, and I hope they will help you reminisce about a simpler time.   When I think back, I was only 9 when the Thriller video premiered, so it’s easy to see why I was so impressed.  You can only watch Thunder Cats, The Great Space Coaster, and Inspector Gadget for so long, right?

If you can look past all of MJ’s recent legal woes and apparent lack of common sense you have to agree his talent was a force to be reckoned with.  He transcended race, gender, and age.  Grown women were in love with Michael.  Men wore Jherri Curls, and glitter gloves…and I don’t even need to mention the scenes in China of all those kids falling out and crying hysterically when Michael took the stage.  That Beat It video (yeah I knew that dance sequence too), Bad, Smooth Criminal, Remember The Time, et al raised the bar for music videos.  I just wish I knew who lowered it!  They say this Thriller on Broadway show will contain a lot of Michael Jackson hits.  I heard mention of Beat It and Off The Wall…all I can say is LET THERE BE DANCE!!!!!!

Seriously though, for those that watched the clips, or can even remember the video from back in the day, this question is for you…what is/was it about Michael Jackson’s Thriller that made it such a phenomenon?  Do you think this Thriller: The Musical could put Michael back on top?
JerzeeChick

At Last!

And so I watched all the inauguration footage I could see on Tuesday, and still felt like I couldn’t get enough.  I don’t think I’ve watched that many consecutive hours of television IN MY LIFE, but this was a once in a lifetime event.  As President Barack Obama said in his speech…this is a new era!  It took 35 five words, but it’s a done deal.  Who would have thought that after all the months of campaigning, all the blogs, all the debates, all the pseudo-scandals, all the hours of camping out on CNN/Meet The Press et al, it would only take 35 words?

I remember Reagan winning in 1980 and 1984.  I remember the first Bush presidency, and of course I was able to vote for the first time when Clinton won in 1992.  At that time I was living in Maryland, and only watched inauguration footage long enough to see Maya Angelou.   Y’all know I didn’t watch one pinky toe worth of coverage when “W” won, so this was all uncharted territory for me.  I didn’t know what to expect, but I was too afraid to turn away because I didn’t want to miss a thing.

Now that President Obama is 2 days into his first hundred days as Commander-in-Chief, I will of course keep him and his family in my prayers.  I have nothing but optimistic thoughts about his presidency, and I believe in my heart that as a nation we are entering a new era.  If we all do our part we, along with President Obama, will turn this country around.  I also wanted to take a minute to reflect on my favorite moment of President Barack Obama’s Inauguration, and on a lighter note pick out a few of the more memorable moments too!

Hands down, my favorite moment was when President Obama stood there with one hand raised and one hand on the bible and said, “So help me God.”  At that moment it was official, and I clapped.

Now regarding the memorable moments, I must shout out the church ensembles.  The Obama girls in their cute church coats, and Aretha Franklin in that church hat!  I remarked on Facebook how cute the Obama girls looked with their freshly pressed hair and church coats.  Rick, my FB friend, admonished me for not mentioning Aretha Franklin….so here goes!

First I must look at Aretha in a historical context.  She’s not just the Queen of Soul.  She’s not just one that often takes fashion risks.  She is part of the soundtrack of the Civil Rights Movement.  Aretha sang at the funeral of Martin Luther King JR, so singing at the Inauguration of President Barack Obama was only fitting.  Now regarding that church hat….Black people love a church hat.  No matter the occasion; be it a funeral, wedding, christening, graduation or Communion Sunday, a big church hat is going to be somewhere on the premises.  So we might as well all get used to seeing more church hats paraded around political events, because so long as the Obama’s are in the White House, somebody will be wearing an ill-advised church hat…full of feathers, rhinestones, sequins, or some other tacky adornment!

Now I have been known to sacrifice comfort for fashion, so I know Michelle’s feet are probably still hurting today.  She strutted around in those pumps all day in the freezing cold DC weather.  Not only did she do the cute shoe thing, she also opted not to have on a real coat!  President Obama had his suit jacket and cashmere coat on, but Michelle was cute in her yellow ensemble.  PETA would have been mad at me, because I would have been walking that parade route with my full-length fur on!

And finally, I must give it up to Beyonce.  I am not a Beyonce fan (at all), but she did an awesome job singing “At Last”.  It was probably the most fitting song for President and Mrs. Obama’s first dance.  At Last, Barack Obama has been sworn in as the 44th President of the United States of America, and I could not be more proud.  So Epiphanyblog, those are my faves…what’s yours?
JerzeeChick

A Look Back

As we move closer to the inauguration and look forward to the changes we are about to see in our country, I wanted to take a minute to reflect on 2008.  There were a lot of memorable moments, and I wanted to count down my favorites: the good, the bad, and the ugly!

10. I Can See Russia From My House
If you’ve been following Epiphanyblog, you know I was not a fan of the Republican Vice Presidential Nominee.  I remember when I heard her name on CNN, my first comment was “Sara Who?”  Regardless of what you think about her qualifications, we can all agree she gave comediennes and late night talk shows countless hours of material.

9. The Real Housewives of Atlanta
This show was a train wreck that I just couldn’t look away from.  I debated its merits with so many people…but all I asked is that they watch one full episode and they too would be hooked!  Apparently someone other than me was watching because it was the highest rated show in Bravo history.

8. Historic Olympic Athletes
I am a sports chick, so I follow those people that are deemed “the greatest” in their particular area of competition.  While swimming was never really on my radar, I was glued to my seat as I watched Michael Phelps win a record breaking 8 Gold Medals during the summer games in Beijing.

7.  The Facebook Phenomenon
First let me shout out all my FB friends that might be reading today.  And those of you that aren’t “friends”…what are you waiting for?  Facebook is the ultimate in social networking sites.  You’d be amazed at who you can find, and more importantly what old pics of yourself are floating out there on Facebook.  The revolution won’t be televised…it will be on Facebook!

6.  The Giants Beat the Patriots
I hate the New England Patriots.  Belichick, Brady, and the whole crew can kick rocks for all I care.  One of the sweetest moments of 2008 came when Big Blue dethroned those smug Patriots!

5.  The Shot Heard Around The World
Even though Omar was a career criminal and pretty much made his living as a stick-up kid…he had some endearing qualities.  As I watched every episode of The Wire’s final season, I never expected to see Omar taken out by a juvenile delinquent…in a corner store no less!

4. The Democratic National Convention
I’ve long since been an Obama Mama, but the first night of the Democratic National Convention showed the world what Michelle was made of.  She inspired women, especially women of color, to strive and achieve!

3.  The Return of Maxwell
I am a Maxwell STAN!!!  I was overjoyed to see him appear out of nowhere on the BET awards, but that was nothing compared to the live show he put on in November.   If you missed his concert, I sure hate it for you!

2.  The Election Booth
On November 4, 2008, I was able to cast my vote for the first African American President of the United States.  I was so excited; I even took a picture of my electronic ballot with my iPhone!

And of course the most memorable moment of 2008 was seeing Barack Obama elected as the 44th President of the United States of America.  That’s my Top 10 and I’m sticking to it.  Did I miss anything?
JerzeeChick

Ms. Independent?

I keep hearing men, especially celebrities, talking about how they are attracted to women that make their own money and don’t “need” the help of a man.  I can appreciate that because I too think an independent man is attractive.  Am I selling out the Womens Movement because I think this whole “support the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed to” mess has gone too far?

I was a fan of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.  NeNe was my favorite by far, and the latest antics of Sheree have gone a long way to move her to the bottom of the list.  Throughout the season she talked about how she was trying to obtain a seven-figure divorce settlement from her ex-husband.  He’s a former NFL player, and they have two children together.

Now again, I hate to seem like a sell-out to my sista’s, but if you haven’t caught a pass nor made a tackle, what makes you think you are entitled to this mans fortune?  He earned that money you didn’t.  I don’t care if he had servants feeding you grapes three times a day, it was a done deal when you two parted ways.  You don’t get to ball out of control anymore.  Welcome to the real world….and in the real world we live on a BUDGET!  In the real world we live WITHIN our means!

Before you roast me, keep this in mind: in the initial divorce settlement she got a lump sum of over seven hundred thousand dollars.  She also got a portion of the marital assets and currently gets money from his pension and one hundred and thirteen thousand dollars a year in child support.  All of that and this heifer still ain’t happy *rolls eyes now*!  She doesn’t get alimony, so her lawyers have taken this thing to the Georgia Supreme Court.  Their argument: she only has a high school education and has limited skills and therefore can not earn a decent living.  I’m sorry, but that is some mess!  How can any woman in good conscience allow herself to be painted as a “loser” in an effort to squeeze out more cash?  The man is taking care of his kids, why can’t she get a J-O-B?!?!?!?!

Now I believe in equitable sharing of assets, and I believe that if a woman raised your kids and supported you in your career goals she shouldn’t have to move back to the projects when y’all break up.  I also believe that child support should not be a “come up”.  When you leave a relationship, you also leave the perks that go along with said relationships.

So Epiphanyblog, I’d like to hear your thoughts about this whole “lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed to” argument.  Has it gone too far?
JerzeeChick